Stress, Power Struggle and Sleep Deprevation

It has been about three months since Sterling went to Mississippi without his family.
It was always hard to be without him. However I kept busy and had our families and the little boys. Then I went and spent a long weekend with him alone in Mississippi which was amazing.
Now that we are just a couple weeks away from moving to South Dakota and being with Sterling, it's so close and yet so far. It's so exciting but that excitement turned into longing and not being able to wait.
I had about two days of pure excitement and happiness then started falling into a depression. I started eating worse, not caring, despite the fact that I've been eating unhealthy and too much sugar since I came back to the states.

• Tiberias is really difficult to handle. And right now I just can't deal with it well. With the stress and my growing belly, making things harder to do as the pregnancy gets closer to it's end, and missing Sterling so much. Being so ready to find a home and get our belongings back and regain some kind of routine of our own. 

• Today I started to teach the boys homeschool. We colored pictures of the first Thanksgiving and I taught them the story. We turned the colorings into a book. Luke has become such a great colorer! He has practiced in homeschool so much that now I am proud and impressed with his work.
• But after that activity we went to Mcdonald's for lunch, my mom's idea and her treat too, and to the grocery store. I felt so overwhelmed at the thought of doing any school this morning. And I decided that I'm just too stressed to do school.
• Next week is our last week then we drive to Provo for the weekend and drive to South Dakota beginning the next week. Then we will be homeless looking for a house and then trying to settle in. Then the baby will come and Luke will be in school by then. So I don't know when I will start homeschooling again. 

Luke has been a whiner a lot this year and it was driving me crazy. But not as much as Ty's disobedience and strong will to be so. But lately Ty is so difficult that I am starting to just see how wonderful Luke is. How helpful he is! How much I love that he can use the restroom, get dressed and do so many things without my help. He is also good at helping me and helping Tiberias. I am focused on those things right now.

Yesterday mom pointed out to me that the problem with Ty and I is that we have a power struggle. He wants to have the power and be in control and I am trying to do that.
I started reading the Five Love Languages for Children book. I am trying to learn how to better love and discipline ( Tiberias mostly) my children.

Today I looked up online how to deal with power struggles and power hungry children. I read an article about it. It said that parents can choose to not make a big deal out of things that are not as big a deal as a barefoot child coming into a room where broken glass is on the floor.
I thought that going to use the toilet was worth fighting over so he doesn't wet his pants but the article said it's not. I thought about it and realized that I can give Ty the option of going to the bathroom instead of demanding he do it. Then he has to deal with the consequences of his choices.
And when it's night and he's going to bed and he refuses to go use the toilet his consequence is he has to wear his pee alarm all night. He's been fighting me in the middle of the night when I get him up to pee. He will throw himself on the floor and scream and cry and do everything except use the toilet. But now I will not make him get up. He will wear the pee alarm and if he wets the bed he has to wake up enough to use the toilet, get changed and let me change the sheets on his bed. His choice.

The article said that these young children who are so strong willed need to make their own choices and their own mistakes. Trying to make them do what I want because I know better just isn't working.

I talked to Sterling on the phone about it and we decided that I can change what I'm doing. Instead of demanding he do things and giving him the opportunity to disobey I can give him a choice. Then it's not a fight.

The problem is that he is disobedient all day long every day. It drives me insane. I can reduce the amount of times he disobeys by giving him the choice more.

The only problem I see now is his wanting to go downstairs to start his day way too early every morning.
He wakes up before 7am every day...sometimes as early as 5:30a. He tries to go downstairs and I jump out of bed to make him come back into the room. Luke sleeps in!
Ty keeps me awake or mostly awake until I finally get up and let him leave the room with me.

Then I try to give him a nap in the afternoon so he won't fall asleep at dinner time...which he has been doing lately. Half the time he refuses to nap. So around 6pm he starts getting really sleepy and I have to keep him awake. His bedtime is 8:30p so that he won't get up too early the next day.
He has a really hard time staying up until his bedtime.

Today he didn't nap and at 7pm he fell asleep on the couch. Tomorrow he will be up way too early. But I'm tired of fighting him. I am planning to let him up early tomorrow and we will both take a nap in the afternoon. I have needed naps lately...being 7 months pregnant.

The big problem is that he wakes others up when he gets up too early. And Moroni works all night and sleeps all morning. So Ty being loud is a problem. And if I try to make him do what I want like come back to the bedroom he screams and yells and cries...waking everyone.