Cute Stories

It's cute how my 13 and a 1/2 year old still finds his mom for a hug before bed each night. If Mom is already asleep he finds dad for a hug. We love this boy so much!

Today the kids had distance learning, school from home. Athena started her math worksheet saying "This is so easy! It's just demonic fractions."

"Decimals and fractions" Mom corrected.

Difficult 10 Year Old

 

I wrote a journal book about how difficult Ty was when he was little. Now I will write to give us in the future a view on how difficult Athena is today. At just turned ten: Every weeks she brings home a red folder from school. I usually ask weekly "do you have anything for me in the folder?" A lot of time there really isn't anything. But recently she failed to show me a paper showing an extra craft club day and so she missed the club. I didn't know they were doing it that day!

Athena earned a honorable mention award from her teacher at school. This morning I went to the awards ceremony. So proud of Athena! While there the administration announced that parents are allowed to take their students home (insinuating to go celebrate their achievement) but they will be counted unexcused absent. Athena got super excited and determined to leave school for the day. It was 10:30am! I was sick and needed to go take a nap. She wanted to go celebrate and then watch TV. No deal. She fought me so hard. Saying she would come lay with me while I rest. She would read and write and then watch TV. She was determined. It was so annoying. But I am the mom and she ended up staying at school. Which I really needed.

Today she didn't like school lunch and says she skipped lunch. Then I served celery soup and focaccia bread for dinner at five o clock. This is a filling meal and she had a huge piece of bread. I realized at her birthday party that I am serving her too much food for a ten year old. When I gave her more cake than she can eat. I am part of the eating problem. So tonight I served her a small smoothie at 7:30pm. She wanted to eat Easy Mac. I said "no". She cried. She said "I'm starving!" Snack time is not a whole meal. She debated. "That's not a meal to me. It doesn't fill me up." I told her that she is ten now and since she is growing up needs to start making smarter health choices. She cried . For the first time I admitted a loud to her that if she keeps this mindset she will grow up to be a fat woman. That a little bit of hunger is the healthy thing. That from now on bedtime snack will be a regulated by parents sized snack. She cried.

Even when I give her reasons she doesn't accept them. She debated. It's irritating. But I still love her.

And

I am proud of her behavior the past six months. Since we've moved to Georgia she wasn't done anything "bad."

I have mentioned twice, at the bakery, to coworkers that Athena has stolen my credit card to go shopping and brought snakes into grandma's house. And my coworkers are shocked! Apparently that's bad behavior for a child. lol. It's not normal.

Stressed About ATHENA

 Last year Sterling and I lost our minds. We felt like Athena needs serious therapy and help because of her extreme mischievousness and lack of learning /growing to become a better person.

With time I started to feel that there is still hope. I was a mischievous child at her age. I really was!

Then moving to America and visiting family I was stressing, as usual, about Athena's behavior. I decided again that she is okay and will grow out of her bad behavior. I reminded myself how I was at her age.

It's not that Athena is evil or tries to be bad. She simply ends up doing bad things without thinking. Just like Dennis the Menace or The Problem Child (1990 film). 

Examples: At my parents house in NV Athena was unkind to Kitty, the cat. I warned Athena not to harm or tease too extremely the cat or Athena would be grounded from the cat. Despite her love of spending time with the cat she could not keep herself from hurting or pushing too far Kitty. So, twice she got grounded from the cat. She also proved she is not mature enough for a hamster or any pet of her own. Which is really sad because for four years we've been telling her "Once we move back to America you cant get a pet of your own."

Example 2) In Provo Athena went into someone's house without asking her parents. Ster and I were on a date. Athena's grandma Roundy went on a walk. Athena, age 9 and a half, was outside playing when the LDS next door neighbors invited her into their house. Why they did that is still unclear. But they gave her crafts to do and called Denise to let her know. Athena knows better than to go into people's houses! 

We scolded her and talked to her about the danger of doing that.

Two nights ago Athena couldn't sleep. She said it really felt like there was a snake in her bed. We thought she was just imagining it because she had been watching too many snake hatching videos lately. I did wonder "Could she have brought a garder snake in the house today and it got away from her?"

Then today I was making dinner when I looked over and saw a snake slithering to the computer! I picked it up and put it outside. Sterling talked to Athena right away and got the truth out of her. She had brought two snakes into the house in her jacket sleeves and then let them onto the living room carpet. They slithered under the couches and Athena told no one. She didn't mean to let them get away.
But Sterling had caught her earlier that day trying to take them into the house and he told her that isn't okay. Then she did it anyway! And that is why she was afraid when she went to bed that night. It may or may not have been the snake in her bed.

But once we knew there was still a snake in the house we all went to searching. Ster upturned the couches , moved the piano, the tv and more. We moved the fridge. We searched all over. Grandma hates snakes! She can't handle them! So of course they found snake poop by her bedroom closet.Luckily they found the second snake ...under grandpa's shoe in their bedroom closet! 

Athena is no longer allowed to watch videos about snakes. And she is no longer trusted to play outside without supervision. She has to be babysit like a toddler because, like a toddler, she can't be trusted.

Sterling and I are so stressed out at Athena's behavior. Ster thinks , once again, that she needs therapy and maybe medication. It just reminds me of the movie The Problem Child. I watched that movie when I was a teenager and felt bad that the child accidentally was a bad kid all the time. Athena is like that. 

We don't know what to do. We just keep trying to teach her to be better, praying for help and crying.

4 Year Plan

 Plans we try to make for our lives but God's plans are the only ones that matter.

We are moving to Georgia. We will have three years there. Then we can retire from the Air Force and move to our land in Castledale, UT. Yay!

My plan for the next three years: make sure my kids find good friends and have a wonderful life.
Work part time at a job that isn't working with children.
Let the boys have their own bedrooms for the first time. Upgrade bed sizes from their tiny twin bunk they've had since Ty was a toddler. 

I do not want to be a keyspouse if they have that program at the base. I do want to be as active in the church as I usually am. 

I do want to find a pickleball group. Start one if needed. Encourage the relief society members to join so I can get to know them better faster. Make friends that way.

The boys will start driving in this time. Luke will graduate high school about the time we move from Georgia! I am proud already. 

That's when we will move to Castledale to begin our life there. To finally live where we choose! That is the dream. We might move into a trailer and begin building our home on our land. We are not sure yet. We will have to get jobs in or around Castledale. That is the plan.
I love my plan. I love our life. I love my husband!

Tiffany's 6+ Year Life Plan

A month or so ago I decided that the best way for me to make money at this time in my life is to do Preschool in my home. I don't need a license or anything here in SD. I simply have to limit myself to five kids in a class...which is the ideal size anyway. Or I would have to hire another teacher to have a larger class. I will stick to the five. Athena will be one of them...and she won't be paying.

I figured out the pricing and details. I have a lot of planning to do and it is exciting. I have lessons to finish that I started (in a binder) when I taught Preschool for free.

The first time I had a preschool class was a great learning experience. I learned I like creating my own lessons from scratch. I create my own games and learning tools too (most of the time).
I learned how to run a preschool properly and smoothly.

I am very eager and excited for my preschool though it is a year+ away from now. I do have a lot of work and I believe whole heartedly it will be a success. There is a need for preschools in the valley where I live. Mothers currently have to drive into the city to take their kids to preschool.

My mother teaches preschool from home and she has given me tips.

Sterling is not confident that I will be successful at getting clients. It makes me worry that I should doubt myself. But no! I have no reason to fear!

I am eager for the next year to pass because I struggle at bringing in money. I don't get photography gigs very often. And cakes don't make enough money for the time I spend on them. Also, my tutu business hasn't started yet. So I feel guilty when I spend more money than needed and I wish I were bringing in money.

I am doing all I can to figure out advertising my photography. I want to do photography but I can't get the business!!

My plan for the next 7 years:
Do photography, cakes, tutus whenever I can get work for the next year.
Do two years of preschool while Athena is preschool age. Make lots of money. :)
If I still like it I will continue to do preschool when Athena starts Kindergarten. Ster thinks I will not like it at all. I can understand why...I complained quite a bit when I did preschool for Tiberias and his friends. BUT...back then...I was not suppose to be the only teacher. It was a co op class. But the other mom teacher ended up to the task most of the time and I ended up teaching it at my house instead.
Plus, back then, I was not getting paid.

Next time I will be prepared to do the only teacher all year and I will be excited to do it because of the income.


Next on my life list...when Athena is 8 years old Ster and I will become foster parents fulfilling that dream of mine.
 

9th Wedding Anniversary

Yesterday was mine and Sterling's 9th wedding anniversary. Since he is home mornings this week we went on a morning date. I scheduled for all of our three children to play at friends' houses that morning and afternoon.

We started our date at Flags and Wheels. We played a round of laser tag...just us two. I had played the game only once before and it was just as fun this time with only the two of us as it was the first time with a whole group of my female friends.

I annihilated my husband that round. I did have an advantage...knowing the course. Whereas he hadn't been there before so he didn't know how big the room was, where the walls and deadends were at.

We moved on to something I have never done before...go cart racing. Ster did it once before...in Turkey. He was on a TDY (Military work trip) with a friend (Todd Mangle) at that time. It's been a few years.


I may not have driven very fast compared to Sterling but I had a blast. It was amazing fun!

From there we went downtown to our favorite place to eat...Tally's Silver Spoon. They are a small breakfast and lunch place. Amazing food!
We had a delicious lunch together. I had expected him to ask the question(s) I had come so use to hearing on our big dates..."Is there anything I have done that has bothered you?" or "Is there any thing you would like me to do better at?"
We would make sure there was no tension or bad feelings. Fix things and make them right.

I guess we've gotten past that because there wasn't been much I could complain about the last year or so.

And now a days if anything does bother me I consider it in my mind and figure out the best way to talk to Ster about it without causing trouble but then end up deciding I am the one who needs to change.
For instance...it sometimes annoys me that Ster doesn't help more. Sometimes he helps with the house cleaning and kids fabulously! And sometimes I wonder what is going through his head; when I need help with the kids and housecleaning (often on Saturday nights when we do baths and prep for Sunday) but he doesn't help. He might ask "What can I do to help?" Yes! So I give him one assignment. He does that in a jiffy then disappears. I have a whole list he can help me with but he is gone. So I imagine he is taking charge and cleaning something he knows needs it. It typically turns out he is playing on his computer.

OR he will come and ask if he can help me...after I get everything done. He waits. That drives me crazy!

BUT...what will change the situation is if I change how I do it. Instead of continuing my work wishing he would read my mind and come help I should stop. Take a break to find him and say "Please help me. This is what I need." Saturday nights overwhelm me and I desperately need him to start being helpful every time!


Back to our date...
We got so full at our delicious lunch that we had no room for dessert. So we walked around a little bit downtown looking at the shops and statues. Enjoying the beautiful day.
We walked into an adorable little candy shop where everything was way too high priced but it was very cute.

We decided to pick up our kids a little early (an hour early) which is typical when we go out on dates.
Ster had to work that afternoon and evening but we would have Culver's ice cream that night.
Ster ended up getting off work early enough that he bought an ice cream for the kids to share as well...to help us celebrate.

We are so happy together. We love our life! We love our marriage. We love our family. We love our home.

General Conference Weekend

What a wonderful Conference weekend!
Yesterday we took the kids to a park for a picnic lunch. It was a wonderful sunny day after waiting and waiting for Spring to finally come to Rapid Valley. So we were excited to be outdoors.
We also spent time outside at home later that day...riding bikes and drawing chalk. And playing with our water table we made this year. They get to play in the water on our back porch and they love it.

We chose not to watch Saturday's session of General Conference this year. We made a fun family day instead. And I will read some of the talks when they come out on the internet.

Tiberias was dreading General Conference. He doesn't like having to sit and listen or be reverent or be calm. So school, church, conference...they are all hard on him.
But when it came to it he found Conference isn't so bad after all! Even though I always give them fun games and activities to do to stay with us during the sessions he found this time it wasn't too hard on him. I think it's because he's getting older and more mature.

This time we had mini picture conference bingo cards. They had to get three in a row. They had a maze to draw their way through and a coloring page each (the boys). Cheerios to eat. Blankies to cuddle with. And it was easier to sit the two hours because he had gone on a long walk beforehand.
This morning we ate our traditional blueberry muffins but I added blueberry pancakes to the mix. Then we went on a family walk to the school (about 20 mins walk with the kids). We played just a little while at the school park before walking home again. Then they were ready to sit and rest for the two hours. And after the session of Conference I took the kids outside for more leg stretching fun. Luke played chalk drawing while Athena and Ty took me down the street with their bikes.

I use to think outside play (playgrounds, bikes, etc) were not appropriate for Sundays. But now I think it's good for them. It helps them prep for having to sit reverently. And it's also fine because we did it together. As a family.

And near the end of the morning session I allowed the kids to use all the couch cushions to make a house. I helped them build it so it wouldn't fall too easily. All three kids enjoying sitting in it, under the tv, where they could still hear the talks. And we ended that session with a picnic lunch in the tv room. The kids sat on a blanket to eat their homemade croissant roll pigs in a blanket, peas, apples and a single chicken nugget (we ran out of chicken nuggets today).

During the last session of conference we had a dessert break before it ended. I baked some yummy fudgy brownies from a box and threw some mint ice cream on top. As Ster and I sat down with our dessert to hear Elder Holland's talk he spoke a funny coincidence. He talked about how the audience was probably anxious for him to get his talk over with so we can go eat our after conference ice cream. I had to laugh. We don't usually have ice cream after conference or even every Sunday. It was just a coincidence.

A little while ago Sterling decided for our family that we cannot foster other people's children at this time. I was hurt because I want to help and I feel I can handle protecting other people's children and giving them what they need while at the same time protecting our children from those children.
But after I got over the hurt and started looking forward to the day that will be right for our family to foster I came to see that it was right. And now I appreciate even more how perfect our little family is right now. How much love, peace, fun, innocence and perfection we have right now.
Luke is the least physical of my family. And he is quiet about what he thinks and feels but I think he too enjoys being hugged and told "I love you" now. He didn't as much when he was a toddler. He would push me away when I hugged him.

Tiberias was the opposite. He has always wanted to be permanently attached to me.  And Athena is just as cuddly and affectionate.

At the end of every day we have our nighttime prayers. Each child says a prayer and then we have a big family hug. Everyone loves it.

Athena will come up to individuals and latch on to them and say in a dreamy voice"love."
If Dad is laying on the couch she will climb on and lay with him and cuddle up and say "love daddy!" It's so precious!

Sometimes she even does it to friends. The other day a neighbor boy was over, Gunnar, and she went and hugged him and said "love Gunnar." He pushed her off.