2nd Counselor in Primary

January 31st , 2011
Yesterday at church I was sustained and set apart as the 2nd counselor in the Primary Presidency. I was asked just a week ago if I would accept this call. I felt privileged to be given such a calling. At the same time I had no idea what that calling would entail, how difficult it would be for me, or even what the order/schedule of Primary was.

The President is Amy Neihbur. She and her family moved here about a year ago. She and her husband have two children...both adopted. Cade, their youngest, was born the exact same day Lachoneus was. The two boys love each other.

Rachel Wynn is the 1st counselor in the Primary right now. She has two children, a daughter who is 3yrs old and a son who is 2. Cardon, the 2 year old, is not close to Luke even though they are both in nursery together.

Sterling and I have had many families from our ward over for a meal. We like to invite a family now and then to join us in our home. It is fun!
But the Wynn's we have never had over yet. We will soon...brother Wynn is deploying in March. Sterling was also going to deploy in March but just a week or two ago we learned he is no longer going. They want someone with three stripes more than Sterling has to go do the job Sterling was told (originally) that he would. It was going to be Sterling's first deployment. He was happy to finally experience deploying but sad at the thought of leaving with wife and children for six whole months. Now that he is not going I don't have to worry about the struggle it would have been for me to be without my love, my best friend, for that long.
I would probably have been fine being mother of two by myself for 6months. I probably would have been fine doing the finances. But being away from my husband would truly be a trial.

I am so excited Sterling will not be missing the big milestones Tiberias will hit this year...crawling and walking.

Back to the original topic though...my new calling.

The previous 2nd counselor (sis Vanessa Hatcher) did a fabulous job at her calling! She even took on pretty much all the Secretary's responsibilities as well...because there is no secretary.
So now I have huge shoes to fill. And being great with kids and having many talents I know I am expected by the presidency and the bishop to be great at this calling.

I still have my Ward Historian calling but that doesn't require my time every week. That is basically me keeping an eye out for big events etc in our ward and the lives of those in it. When things do happen I take pictures if possible and record the facts and maybe a few fun tidbits as well.

I met with Vanessa Hatcher this morning in her home. She gave me a binder of 2nd counselor and secretary responsibilities. She showed me how she did things, most all were on the computer. So a lot of what I do will be on the computer...making lists and a newsletter and emailing such things to the right people. Then on Sundays, as I learned at church yesterday, I am in the Primary room for the 2nd and 3rd hour of church. We have the jr primary (the youngest half of primary) and we do opening exercises, music time, a child gives a talk and a child reads a scripture, prayer and announcements. Then those kids go to class while the older half come from class to primary where we do the same thing over again.

I will be required to do Sharing Time now and then, conduct once in a while but mostly keep the kids reverent during Primary. I make sure the kids have teachers each week. If their teacher cancels or just fails to appear then I find someone to teach...I do it myself if I have to.

Sterling will take care of Tiberias the first hour of Primary. But the 2nd hour he goes to fulfill his own calling in young men's. Having the baby in Primary is a distraction for the children...especially the older children. They want to play with and hold the baby. Plus, if I am holding the baby it is hard for me to get the children to quiet down. And Tiberias is teething so yesterday was in the back, holding Ty, trying to keep him quiet the whole time.

I could easily find people to hold Tiberias in Relief Society that last hour of church. But I don't want to be without my baby. Two hours without him (except for feeding and diaper changes) is not easy. Knowing he's with someone else...that's hard.
And yesterday Luke cried all through Nursery. With the church time change from 9:30a last year to 1p this year Luke has not adjusted yet. He napped before church yesterday but we can't always get him to take an early nap. He was unhappy all day yesterday...either sick or just growing. Either way we decided, the nursery teacher along with Ster and I, to bring Luke's beloved blanky to nursery each week. We did that once or twice already this year and it kept him calm. So days when he ends up tired or having growing pains his blanky should help. That means I have to remember to wash it every Saturday.

Talking to Vanessa this morning made me feel I could become overwhelmed at all this. But I am trying not to let that happen and am hoping that all these responsibilities individually are simple...that once I start doing them all I will not struggle.

My first task is to hurry and get the February newsletter made and emailed out because tomorrow is February. The newsletter technically is the secretary's job but Amy asked if I would do it and I am happy to. Once I get going in this calling I will see what secretary responsibilities I might want Rachel or Amy to do. I cannot yet tell what will be too much for me...if I could do it all myself.

I know I can do this. It is a big job. But I worked two full time jobs and even tried a part time job for a week when I was single and living in Spanish Fork. I had no time for a social life but that's not the point. The point is that I was able to do that and keep my sanity and my health. So I think I can be a mother of two and fulfill all three of my church callings (Visiting Teaching being the third calling).

And one big thing I've noticed since moving into this ward is how much the Bishopric pushes "family first." They tell us to fulfill our callings for church but to not let them interfere with our families. Our husbands and children come first. I wonder if they are pushing that notion all over the world now...if the Prophet and his Presidency have sent out letters informing all steak and ward leaders that this is #1 priority. To make sure all church members know that family comes first.
I love that.
Sterling and I do our best to make our family as happy and strong as possible. We focus on our marriage first and our children second. Well, technically we focus on our sanity second :D

We are still in "the Honeymoon phase." We've been married three and a half years and are more in love than we have ever been. Our marriage is stronger than it has ever been.
When we got married I believed that the honeymoon phase ends in all marriages and that often (many years into the marriage) individuals fall out of love. One will still be in love while the other is not. But that they fall back into love eventually. Marriage takes work. It's not easy.
But now I believe, as does my husband, that maybe the Honeymoon phase does not have to end. It seems we can be in this phase the rest of our lives...if we continue to ever to work at it. We take time to be together, without the kids. Whether it's a date (which is expensive...to go out and do something while paying for a sitter) or doing something with worth when the kids are asleep.
We went on a date Saturday night. We got Burger King and saw the latest Harry Potter movie in the theater. We had a lot of fun! But we didn't get a lot of time to talk to each other. So last night Sterling told me his plan "After the kids go to bed I'll light some candles in the bedroom, turn out the light and we just lay in bed and talk." And that's what we did. Well, Sterling's brother Jon called and they talked a long time and then we finished watching a movie before we went upstairs. So by that time we got to our quality time together I was sleepy. But we took a few minutes, by candle light, to just talk and enjoy being together.

Since we are truly happy, our marriage is practically perfect, we then focus on our children. Naturally, I can't let the baby cry so I can spend time with my husband. I take care of the kids as they need it.

I do what I can to make Luke and Ty happy and keep their sanity (which often requires getting outdoors into the fresh air). I try to make real quality time with Luke at least once while Sterling is at work. Sterling takes some quality time with Luke and Tiberias when he is home.
I love watching all three boys together. Their father is so different with them than I am!
I love to watch Sterling wrestle with Luke. I love watching his read to the boys with one child on each leg. I love seeing Lachoneus and Ty play together with Sterling's help. This morning Sterling had both kids and they were sitting on the floor. Tiberias kept grabbing at luke's toys and clothes and leaning in toward him. Luke thought it was funny...like he was playing with his brother. Then Sterling helped the baby attack Luke (wrestle him) and Luke loved it. Luke is very good at being gentle with Ty. Even though Tiberias was wrestling Luke he was careful not to grab back at the baby or accidentally kick him. It's such a joy to see! These moments are so precious!

Tiberias is a few weeks away from turning 6months old. He is still too young to play much with Luke. But I can see Luke finding a friend in Ty already. Someone to kind of play with. Someone to share the toys, parents love and home with. Luke loves not being the only child.

Lachoneus' speech skills

Dear Journal, January 19th, 2010

Here in Italy kids start attending school at age 3...Italian school. We were considering putting Luke in the Italian school. But if he has language/communication problems in his own language then it might make it worse to put him in an Italian school.

Luke still speaks as much gibberish as he does real words. And of course, most of the real words he says only I can understand.

He does not say yes or no. He says "uh-uh" for no and if he means "yes" he repeats what he wants. If I ask him if he wants a sandwich and he does then he says "sandwich."

If I ask him his name he says nothing. If I tell him to say "Luke" or "Lachoneus" he says "uh-uh" (meaning "no"). He use to try...about six months ago he would try to say his name. Guke is what he would say.

He also said prayer a few times...about six months ago. But if we ever try to get him to pray now he gets really silly and starts making goofy sounds. He refuses to be serious if we ask him to pray but he'll be serious if we don't ask him. And he won't repeat a word we say.

I was in nursery for a minute the other day and the teacher was teaching about prayer. She asked Luke to say the prayer and I was a little embarrassed. I explained to her that even at home he just makes silly sounds for prayer.

It is this nursery teacher that has Sterling and I worried about Luke's speech. Her oldest son (now 7) has some communication problems and has had speech therapy. She has asked me three weeks in a row about Luke and his development. Pointing out that I might want to watch carefully and maybe get him evaluated.

It didn't offend me. We are friends.

At first Ster and I agreed strongly that Luke is fine and normal. But as we watched Luke we started wondering.

We did realize that his lack of speech and communication lately is our own fault. Letting him watch too many Donald Duck cartoons (because Donald is his favorite) and not reading enough books to him. He has not gotten enough attention from us since Tiberias was born.

Not just because he have a baby now but because we've been so busy. After our parents' visits we moved apartments. I'm still settling in our belongings and decorating...it's a long process.

So it's been a few days now that we've been really focusing on Lachoneus. Limiting his Donald Duck intake, reading to him a lot more and spending quality time with him. Even coaxing him to use complete sentences.

He has started to do better. But I think we are going to have him evaluated. Our bishop is a childrens' doctor. Specializing in stuff like this. He is going to give us pamphlets and things to help us decide if we want the evaluation. Then we can have either the bishop or other people come to our home to ask us questions and observe Luke.

We don't typically go for this type of thing. But we want to know how normal he is and if there's something we need to focus on with him. We need to know if we should start planning for him to attend Italian school or not.

They do have an American school here on the base. But I think that starts with Kindergarten (age 5). And we'd rather Luke go to an Italian school than to the American school here. That would help me as well. We'd want Luke to not be too uncomfortable going to a school where he is not use to hearing the language spoken. So we'd need to start speaking Italian in our home asap. I don't know much but that would really help me. If we try to speak only Italian in the home for a while I'm sure I'd catch on. It would motivate me to actually study the language too.

Dear Journal, January 21, 2011

Yesterday at work Sterling was told he will not be going on this Spring's deployment! The spot Ster was deploying to fulfill is now requiring a Master Sergeant...three stripes higher than Ster is.

There is still a possibility he might have to go in the end but as of now he is not going.

When I heard the news I was somehow a little disappointed. Probably because he had made the plans for him to be gone six months. But then I realized he is not going to leave me for six whole months anymore! He is not going to miss seeing Ty learning to crawl and walk too!

He will probably go on TDYs...maybe even up to 6weeks at a time. But that's not a problem!

And now that he is not deploying he can take that schooling he needs to get his promotion. He'll get it earlier this year instead of having to wait until after the deployment!

He dropped off his uniform just Tuesday to get his Senior Airman (SrA) patch sewn on for deployment. Now he has to go stop them from doing that and have them sew on his Staff Sergeant (SSgt) patch because he's going to promote! He's going to have four stripes on his patch instead of 3.

We were going to plan a trip to Switzerland to attend the temple and see if any friends wanted to go with us...right before his deployment in March. Now we can plan it for the summer and go in nice weather...plan some sightseeing on that trip as well.

We were going to take family pictures right before he deployed too. Now we can wait another month or two and have beautiful green in our outdoors family pictures.

We were planning to go on a cruise after he returned from deployment. Now we can look at the calendar and decide if we want to do that sooner rather than later in the year.

I think we have decided to plan to put Luke in the Italian school next school year. He turns 3 in the summer and then will be old enough for Italian school. If he/we don't like it we can always pull him out. And if we do keep him in and we do live here until 2013 he'll get 2 years of Italian school. He should know the language by then...me too. :)

Tuesdays at 10:30a is Story Time at the library. The story lady comes and reads to the children who attend. My friend Nelli Mangle takes her kids often and told me about it. I am excited that Sterling is coming with us to Story Time next week! I love it when he's so involved with his sons! He is a wonderful dad!

Another event I am looking forward to is January 29th. Ster and I are taking our Valentine's date early. We wouldn't want to try going out on Valentine's day...it'll be busy everywhere. And we are planning to go on a date to see the Harry Potter movie that night anyway. So we'll figure out plans for dinner and maybe Sterling will come up with some romantic surprise to make it Valentine special. I already told him he should...without telling him "you should." And if he doesn't I'll be fine...I've learned not to get upset when he fails to romance me when I want it. But he's gotten pretty good at the romantic stuff recently. I think he'll pull through.