9th Wedding Anniversary

Yesterday was mine and Sterling's 9th wedding anniversary. Since he is home mornings this week we went on a morning date. I scheduled for all of our three children to play at friends' houses that morning and afternoon.

We started our date at Flags and Wheels. We played a round of laser tag...just us two. I had played the game only once before and it was just as fun this time with only the two of us as it was the first time with a whole group of my female friends.

I annihilated my husband that round. I did have an advantage...knowing the course. Whereas he hadn't been there before so he didn't know how big the room was, where the walls and deadends were at.

We moved on to something I have never done before...go cart racing. Ster did it once before...in Turkey. He was on a TDY (Military work trip) with a friend (Todd Mangle) at that time. It's been a few years.


I may not have driven very fast compared to Sterling but I had a blast. It was amazing fun!

From there we went downtown to our favorite place to eat...Tally's Silver Spoon. They are a small breakfast and lunch place. Amazing food!
We had a delicious lunch together. I had expected him to ask the question(s) I had come so use to hearing on our big dates..."Is there anything I have done that has bothered you?" or "Is there any thing you would like me to do better at?"
We would make sure there was no tension or bad feelings. Fix things and make them right.

I guess we've gotten past that because there wasn't been much I could complain about the last year or so.

And now a days if anything does bother me I consider it in my mind and figure out the best way to talk to Ster about it without causing trouble but then end up deciding I am the one who needs to change.
For instance...it sometimes annoys me that Ster doesn't help more. Sometimes he helps with the house cleaning and kids fabulously! And sometimes I wonder what is going through his head; when I need help with the kids and housecleaning (often on Saturday nights when we do baths and prep for Sunday) but he doesn't help. He might ask "What can I do to help?" Yes! So I give him one assignment. He does that in a jiffy then disappears. I have a whole list he can help me with but he is gone. So I imagine he is taking charge and cleaning something he knows needs it. It typically turns out he is playing on his computer.

OR he will come and ask if he can help me...after I get everything done. He waits. That drives me crazy!

BUT...what will change the situation is if I change how I do it. Instead of continuing my work wishing he would read my mind and come help I should stop. Take a break to find him and say "Please help me. This is what I need." Saturday nights overwhelm me and I desperately need him to start being helpful every time!


Back to our date...
We got so full at our delicious lunch that we had no room for dessert. So we walked around a little bit downtown looking at the shops and statues. Enjoying the beautiful day.
We walked into an adorable little candy shop where everything was way too high priced but it was very cute.

We decided to pick up our kids a little early (an hour early) which is typical when we go out on dates.
Ster had to work that afternoon and evening but we would have Culver's ice cream that night.
Ster ended up getting off work early enough that he bought an ice cream for the kids to share as well...to help us celebrate.

We are so happy together. We love our life! We love our marriage. We love our family. We love our home.

General Conference Weekend

What a wonderful Conference weekend!
Yesterday we took the kids to a park for a picnic lunch. It was a wonderful sunny day after waiting and waiting for Spring to finally come to Rapid Valley. So we were excited to be outdoors.
We also spent time outside at home later that day...riding bikes and drawing chalk. And playing with our water table we made this year. They get to play in the water on our back porch and they love it.

We chose not to watch Saturday's session of General Conference this year. We made a fun family day instead. And I will read some of the talks when they come out on the internet.

Tiberias was dreading General Conference. He doesn't like having to sit and listen or be reverent or be calm. So school, church, conference...they are all hard on him.
But when it came to it he found Conference isn't so bad after all! Even though I always give them fun games and activities to do to stay with us during the sessions he found this time it wasn't too hard on him. I think it's because he's getting older and more mature.

This time we had mini picture conference bingo cards. They had to get three in a row. They had a maze to draw their way through and a coloring page each (the boys). Cheerios to eat. Blankies to cuddle with. And it was easier to sit the two hours because he had gone on a long walk beforehand.
This morning we ate our traditional blueberry muffins but I added blueberry pancakes to the mix. Then we went on a family walk to the school (about 20 mins walk with the kids). We played just a little while at the school park before walking home again. Then they were ready to sit and rest for the two hours. And after the session of Conference I took the kids outside for more leg stretching fun. Luke played chalk drawing while Athena and Ty took me down the street with their bikes.

I use to think outside play (playgrounds, bikes, etc) were not appropriate for Sundays. But now I think it's good for them. It helps them prep for having to sit reverently. And it's also fine because we did it together. As a family.

And near the end of the morning session I allowed the kids to use all the couch cushions to make a house. I helped them build it so it wouldn't fall too easily. All three kids enjoying sitting in it, under the tv, where they could still hear the talks. And we ended that session with a picnic lunch in the tv room. The kids sat on a blanket to eat their homemade croissant roll pigs in a blanket, peas, apples and a single chicken nugget (we ran out of chicken nuggets today).

During the last session of conference we had a dessert break before it ended. I baked some yummy fudgy brownies from a box and threw some mint ice cream on top. As Ster and I sat down with our dessert to hear Elder Holland's talk he spoke a funny coincidence. He talked about how the audience was probably anxious for him to get his talk over with so we can go eat our after conference ice cream. I had to laugh. We don't usually have ice cream after conference or even every Sunday. It was just a coincidence.

A little while ago Sterling decided for our family that we cannot foster other people's children at this time. I was hurt because I want to help and I feel I can handle protecting other people's children and giving them what they need while at the same time protecting our children from those children.
But after I got over the hurt and started looking forward to the day that will be right for our family to foster I came to see that it was right. And now I appreciate even more how perfect our little family is right now. How much love, peace, fun, innocence and perfection we have right now.
Luke is the least physical of my family. And he is quiet about what he thinks and feels but I think he too enjoys being hugged and told "I love you" now. He didn't as much when he was a toddler. He would push me away when I hugged him.

Tiberias was the opposite. He has always wanted to be permanently attached to me.  And Athena is just as cuddly and affectionate.

At the end of every day we have our nighttime prayers. Each child says a prayer and then we have a big family hug. Everyone loves it.

Athena will come up to individuals and latch on to them and say in a dreamy voice"love."
If Dad is laying on the couch she will climb on and lay with him and cuddle up and say "love daddy!" It's so precious!

Sometimes she even does it to friends. The other day a neighbor boy was over, Gunnar, and she went and hugged him and said "love Gunnar." He pushed her off.

Husband and Wife After 8 Years ~ Reflections on a Sunday

Yesterday (Sunday) Sterling and I went to nursery as usual. Nursery is my calling and Sterling has no calling but I need his help in nursery. I love taking care of the nursery kids but we have 13-17 kids every week. Jenn, my partner, and I need more than just us to manage the kids.

We gave a baby gate we no longer need to a family who wanted it. And I gave out the baby shower invitation flyers for each auxiliary where women are during church hours. I gave a baby shower a couple weeks ago and am already involved in another one. With the last baby shower I put a lot of work into it. I made the decorations and invites and flyers and shower games. I had help providing food. With this current shower I am doing the decorations, invites, flyers, cake and helping with two of the games. I am getting good at doing baby showers and the women receiving the party feels loved and grateful for the efforts.

At church we were handed the Roberts' computer to take home and fix. Sterling is really good at fixing computers and has helped out many people in the ward for free. Most people who need help buy cheap computers and maybe don't have good anti virus software. So they get viruses and their computers slow down and have issues. Sterling cleans them, wipes them clear and installs good software and antiviruses.

In our ward we , Ster and I, do a lot of service. With church callings and more. I watch other peoples kids even on short notice for free. We help any way we can. We don't really have to go looking for service opportunities because the ward knows us and our skills by now. They come to us and we happily help.

In our service efforts we bless others' lives but in return Heavenly Father blesses us.

Recently my visiting teaching companion had a baby. A week or two later a sister we visit teach had a baby too. I brought dessert and visited with my companion after her baby came along. She had a scary delivery and a hard post partum. So I was happy to visit with her, keep her company and make sure she was doing better.

Well yesterday was Fast Sunday and I spent the whole afternoon cooking and baking. I made croissant rolls from scratch, chicken salad sandwich filler and choc choc chip cookies. I took some of all those things and sweet pulled pork Sterling made over to the Mchaley's (the sister I visit teach who just had her baby). I brought them dinner for last night and the pulled pork for a freezer meal for later in the week.

Katie Mchaley is doing well. She has recovered nicely and feels great after a fast and smooth delivery.
After that visit I went to Kayla, my v.t. companion and gave her back her computer Sterling fixed. She is having a hard time because her baby still won't sleep at night while she has young twin boys and a toddler at home. She is teaching them school at home this year.  I let her know I am available every morning this week if she needs any help she can call me.

On the drive home from the military base where I made my visits I thought a lot about my wonderful husband. Lately I've been realizing that our perfect relationship can't remain so wonderful without much effort. After 8 years of marriage you have to work hard to keep the relationship exciting and strong. I've been discovering ways to do that.

Saturday we went on an exciting date where we ziplined in the mountain. Ziplining is something a little scary that Ster and I each experienced only once in our youth. After so many years have gone by it was hard to remember the whole experience.  I was worried it would be too high off the ground and that the end, the jerk at the bottom, would be too rough.
I was surprised to learn something I did not know about my husband...he is afraid of heights. He said the tower doesn't bother him (his work tower) but standing in the trees reading to fly down a line in a harness makes him nervous.
So it was exciting and a little scary for both of us. But the Tramway Adventures zipline in Keystone SD was not too high off the ground. It was so awesome flying through the trees! So much fun! And doing it with Sterling made me feel stronger and happier in our relationship.
I had picked the activity so Sterling picked the place to eat. We went to Sanford's for the first time and it became our new favorite restaurant. The environment was fun and the food was amazing. It costs more than other places in town but tastes so much better than the others. We'd rather go to Sanford's once in a while than eat out often at places that don't impress us.


                          Another thing I realized that helps me feel stronger and happier in my relationship with Sterling is to say the things I love about him out loud. On the drive home from the base yesterday I remembered that saying words out loud has power. I learned that from my mother.
I often think about the things I love about Sterling but I don't usually say them out loud.
So , alone in the car, wishing I had a friend with me to say it to I spoke aloud the things I love about Sterling. It takes over 15 mins to drive home. So I had that much time to think about how wonderful he is.

Some of the things I said are: "Sterling helps me to be a great mom. With his help and giving me breaks I don't get burned out. That causes me to be able to continue to be patient and happy and a great mom."
"Sterling is so wonderful to serve others. He could charge money for his computer services but that's not how he is. He isn't about making money any way he can. He is all about helping others."
"One of his priorities is to keep me stress free and happy. And I am so thankful for that. He has striven for that since we first got married."
"He doesn't always step in to help clean my chores or take care of the kids. But if he knows I need help he will definitely step in. And he does clean up his computer desk and his own stuff often."

You know what...saying them out loud made me feel more appreciation and love for him. Simply thinking about those things was not enough. Saying things outloud truly has great power.

I got home and walked in the house to find Luke cleaning. I saw the kitchen had been cleaned up and all the dishes done. The upstairs was clean! And downstairs I found Sterling and Ty cleaning the tv room! I could hardly believe it.
I knew immediately why he did it. It wasn't that I was getting burned out. It was that Sterling wanted to spend time with me and he knew if I had dishes to wash and things to take care of I would not be able to.
Sterling's actions that evening made me feel more love and joy for him. He truly is wonderful.
The house was clean and we were able to relax and watch tv together. The kids are pretty good at leaving us alone to do that once in a while.

Selfless Marriage

A couple days ago I was pondering my wonderful marriage. I realized that I was the more selfish one in the relationship. Sterling loves spending time with me. He wants more time together than I typically do. I spend my time with the kids, cleaning the house and with my husband. I do take time for myself when Sterling is at work. I take time to facebook, watch a girly show, and do something fun for me like scrapbooking or making hair bows. When Sterling is home from work I spend time with him but then I find myself also wanting to do stuff for me and do stuff alone. Even though Sterling still wants to be with me I would rather go do something for me or sometimes even do some housecleaning that I was not able to get to because of the kids.

Yesterday evening Sterling brought up our marriage; as often happens due to the constant reminder of others that marriage isn't always as wonderful as ours. Sterling said "But I could be less selfish". I almost laughed at that. I then told him how I was thinking I was the more selfish one in our relationship.

He said "I spend more of the money." Which is true. He does always say that we need to save money and not spend but then he ends up buying more unnecessary things than I do. "How are you selfish?" he asked. I told him about my wanting more time for just me. He agreed that was true.
So yesterday we pointed out one way our marriage isn't perfect.

However, in that conversation we also proved how amazing our marriage is that we both see past our spouse's greed and see only how we could improve ourselves. That proves we are selfless in some ways.

The funny thing is that the times I do think "I wish Sterling would do that for me" and I realize he could be more selfless are the times I feel guilt for thinking of myself and wishing he were different.

Sterling is not perfect (neither am I) but it would be a truly amazing world if all men were like him.

Celebrate 30 years of Tiffany

I love birthdays! For Sterling's 30th we did not have a party. That's his favorite way to celebrate. But for me...I definitely wanted a party.

The perfect party theme...Swing Dancing!

The Saturday after my birthday some friends came over to celebrate with us. Al & Malinda Stone and James & Martha Aston. I decorated with store bought silver stars hanging from the ceiling and black cutout silhouettes of swing dancing couples which I had cut out myself. I had decorated the tv room and there we danced. Sterling and I taught our friends some basic dance moves: the Triple Step, Rock Step, Bow Tie and the She-He turn. We practiced those moves and then turned on Swing music. We danced a while and it was a lot of fun.

I started Swing dancing in high school.  I fell in love with it right away! I joined the school's swing dance club and I thought it was amazing. Unfortunately the leaders of the club graduated and nobody knew enough swing to take over.
Then Zack Guymon who became my best friend happened to love swing dancing too. So we would practice together. When my brother Aaron got married Zack and I were pretty good at swing dancing. At the wedding reception we showed off our moves. I didn't have any idea if it even looked good because I was doing it. But one day, years after the wedding, (I think it was Nicole) someone showed me a video from the reception that showed some of our dancing and it looked awesome! I wish I had that video. I have asked Aaron and Nicole to see if they can find it but I never heard back from them about it.

I went to a swing dance club, free at BYU, once with friends. Since then I've only danced with my husband. We practiced basic swing. I was trying to teach Sterling to swing because I love it so much and he was willing to do it for me. But it's not as fun when you don't do it all the time...when you are out of practice. It's fun when you dance so much that you and your partner are good at it. Sterling and I...we are out of practice.


At my 30th party we danced. We hung out while our kids played in the boys' bedroom.
I served chicken salad croissant sandwiches and we had brownies and ice cream for dessert.

30 years of happiness. And my life is more amazing than ever. My life is perfect. God blesses me in more way than I can count.

The Perfect Year -State of Mind

I feel like this year, 2014, has been the best year of my life.
Is it because of the things I have done, the places I have been and the things I have seen this year? No.

Having our family complete; three amazing children and a perfect marriage along with the life we have had leading up to our move here makes everything perfect.  The Summer was perfect. The holidays are perfect. I am so truly happy.

What makes my life perfect? 1) Having spent an amazing 4 years in Italy with Sterling and our boys. 2) Now living within driving distance of our families.  3) Having a daughter...being able to do all the fun girly things with her I don't get to do with/for my boys.  4) Having decided our family is complete. Planning to not get pregnant again or go through labor and delivery. Knowing that these hardships of raising a baby (waiting for her to sleep through the night etc) are the last time I will go through these. 

Other simple things like the trials I have faced that have made me as strong as I am today. Example: My insecurety and desire to have people like me and to know my friends are true friends. I went through that the whole time I was in Italy and maybe even before that. But now I am happy with the many friends I have here. I don't have a best friend, besides Sterling, but know that I have a list of girls I can call to go hang out or invite over.
Another  example: last winter here in Rapid City was very harsh. Cold and windy together. This Winter so far it is nowhere near that. It does get cold but we have some almost warm days as well. And the wind has been very tame so far this Winter. So now when it's 0 degrees outside I don't mind going out to go shopping or go get stuff done outside. I don't mind being out the cold a little while because there is no harsh wind.

Another small thing that makes my life perfect ...I realized recently that I don't have to worry about getting fat again. After Tiberias was born I gained more weight than I have ever had on before. I allowed myself to be in maybe 2 photographs at that time. Both of them I stood on the outskirt of the picture so I could crop in the photo, cutting off part of my body to show less of my fat.
I shortly after worked my butt off with Sterling to count my calories (eat like 1200 calories a day), doing pushups and situps and hiking. Combined with breastfeeding Ty my weight melted off.
I have been worried about gaining back the weight ever since.

When we came back to America a year and a half ago I started eating not so healthy. We had gotten into a very good healthy eating lifestyle in Italy. Then we came back to all the fast food we had missed and celebrations with family. Then Sterling was away from us 4 months. Then we moved to South Dakota. I have not gotten back into a healthy eating lifestyle since. I did workout during my pregnancy with Athena...so my body stayed in shape. And after Athena was born , if I wore a tummy sucker under my clothes, I looked like I had not just had a baby. I looked great. I have been breastfeeding Athena but not working out much or eating healthy. Now she is almost a year old and I am still "thin." So recently I realized...I am not going to get fat again. I can stop worrying about it. Now that I am no longer breastfeeding Athena I do need to start working out often. Replace the calorie burning with another way of calorie burning. And I should start eating a bit healthier. But if I don't I am not afraid of blowing up like a balloon. Definitely something to celebrate!! :)
Not only that but the fact that I know how to lose weight if I need to. It takes years to learn how your body best loses weight and I do know my body.


My family has done some awesome things this year! Visited Mount Rushmore a few times as well as some other fun places in the area. Had grandparents come to visit because of the baby being born. We drove down to Provo and visited our family when Travis got married. But what made it the best year of my life, so far, is where I have been and what has tried me to bring me to this perfect state of mind and true happiness. No dream could be sweeter than my life. No hope or wish could make one happier than my life makes me.

Not only is it the past and present that bring joy to me but the aspirations for my future. Sterling and I talk about our future sometimes. We talk about having a piece of land after retirement, where we start out in a trailor while we build our dream home.
We talk of having animals on our land which we care for.
We talk of having a motor home and taking family trips sooner rather than later.

We once talked about living in or near a small town where we could open a little diner.
Sterling talks about being a cop, his dream job. And I honestly hope he gets that experience and loves it.

I dream about how I will spend my time when my children are grown. Photography, cake decorating, scrapbooking, sewing, keeping up my singing voice and performing for church and community events, etc. 

The thing about dreams, with my husband, they tend to come true. Sterling has made so many of my dreams come true. With us being down to earth and financially secure (we are planners) it is totally feasible for any of our dreams of retirement to come true.

God has given us so much. And every day I thank Him for His blessings.

Callings

We moved into the Rapid Valley ward in December last year. It took a few months before I was given callings...Sterling as well.
I was called to two callings around the same time. 1)Relief Society Enrichment Committee Head. To lead the committee that plans and throws the monthly RS activities.
2) Co-Gospel Doctrine teacher. Malinda Stone would teach one week and I would teach the next.

I enjoyed both callings. My 1st calling was a lot easier for me. I had a lot of fun with my committee planning and throwing fun events. We did the Annual Birthday Dinner (huge success), a Get To Know Your Sisters Game Night (Success!), Visiting Teaching Conference (Which was a success despite the drama one sister caused) and a cake decorating Basics class taught by Druceal Sheldon (frosting decorating) and myself (fondant). It was moved from one date to another due to weather so we had a small turnout of about 5 sisters aside from the teachers. But it was a success anyway. It would be awesome to do annually.

My Gospel Doctrine calling also took up a lot of time but only every other week. It took about three days of working on my lesson to get it prepared. Being a mom of three I don't find that much alone time each day to work on it.
I learned so much by studying the scriptures! Old Testament is not easy for me to understand. But praying for help and studying it over a few days has really opened my eyes. I would read some of it and not understand it at all. But with the help of the manual and the Seminary manual and reading it a few days after the 1st time, I understand.  I have never learned the Old Testament as well as I have by teaching it.

I have also been an unofficial Primary substitute. Not many people in the ward are willing to take on a primary class. So I do it. After a few weeks of teaching Gospel Doctrine I feel really confident to teach, even last minute, a class of 3 year olds or 5 year olds.
I have been subbing when I can in Ty's 3 yr old class while his teacher had her third baby and has been staying home with him.

And my last calling is Visiting Teacher, of course. I have been one to strive to get 100% visiting teaching each month when possible. I did well at it in Italy.
Now I have three kids and my husband works two totally different shifts rotating every other week. And the sisters we visit are spread out. Two live in Box Elder which is 15 minutes away. One lives close to me. But we can't seem to get them to let us come visit on the same day. So we make different trips when we can. One sister only wants to see my companion because she has had her as her vising teacher for a long time.  And the other two are also inactives.

Visiting Teaching is, sadly, a burden now. I pray that it will change. I no longer feel I can get 100% v.t. each month. I feel I need a break every other month. It has been stressful with my life being so busy.

It has not been that long since I got my callings in this ward. But I am being released from both of those callings and placed in another. I will be in the Relief Society Presidency...one of the counselor. Although I am not sure which one...first or second. The Bishopric member could not remember which when he asked if I would accept the calling.
Of course I would accept. Ster thinks I will be as busy in this calling as I was in both my current callings.

On Sunday I will be released from gospel doctrine and hopefully Enrichment Committee and set apart in the new one.
The Relief Society President is my visiting teaching companion Missy Davis. Her other choice for counselor is a woman I do not know. And the Secretary is not changing...Laura Smith.

Actually, I have not been told I will be released from Enrichment Committee. I'm just kind of hoping so. It's a busy calling and if I have to do that as well as Relief Society Presidency I might be way too busy.
Ster thinks I will be kept in charge of overseeing the committee but that I won't be in charge of coming up with the ideas for events and hosting them. I will probably continue to make the flyers (digital and printed) because I am good at it and getting it done promptly so everyone can plan for the event.

I am so thankful to be a part of the Lord's church and to have so many opportunities to serve. I am blessed in countless ways for serving in the church! Some of those ways are gaining experience in different areas and growing.


This will be my first time in the Relief Society Presidency. I am