4 Year Plan

 Plans we try to make for our lives but God's plans are the only ones that matter.

We are moving to Georgia. We will have three years there. Then we can retire from the Air Force and move to our land in Castledale, UT. Yay!

My plan for the next three years: make sure my kids find good friends and have a wonderful life.
Work part time at a job that isn't working with children.
Let the boys have their own bedrooms for the first time. Upgrade bed sizes from their tiny twin bunk they've had since Ty was a toddler. 

I do not want to be a keyspouse if they have that program at the base. I do want to be as active in the church as I usually am. 

I do want to find a pickleball group. Start one if needed. Encourage the relief society members to join so I can get to know them better faster. Make friends that way.

The boys will start driving in this time. Luke will graduate high school about the time we move from Georgia! I am proud already. 

That's when we will move to Castledale to begin our life there. To finally live where we choose! That is the dream. We might move into a trailer and begin building our home on our land. We are not sure yet. We will have to get jobs in or around Castledale. That is the plan.
I love my plan. I love our life. I love my husband!

Tiffany's 6+ Year Life Plan

A month or so ago I decided that the best way for me to make money at this time in my life is to do Preschool in my home. I don't need a license or anything here in SD. I simply have to limit myself to five kids in a class...which is the ideal size anyway. Or I would have to hire another teacher to have a larger class. I will stick to the five. Athena will be one of them...and she won't be paying.

I figured out the pricing and details. I have a lot of planning to do and it is exciting. I have lessons to finish that I started (in a binder) when I taught Preschool for free.

The first time I had a preschool class was a great learning experience. I learned I like creating my own lessons from scratch. I create my own games and learning tools too (most of the time).
I learned how to run a preschool properly and smoothly.

I am very eager and excited for my preschool though it is a year+ away from now. I do have a lot of work and I believe whole heartedly it will be a success. There is a need for preschools in the valley where I live. Mothers currently have to drive into the city to take their kids to preschool.

My mother teaches preschool from home and she has given me tips.

Sterling is not confident that I will be successful at getting clients. It makes me worry that I should doubt myself. But no! I have no reason to fear!

I am eager for the next year to pass because I struggle at bringing in money. I don't get photography gigs very often. And cakes don't make enough money for the time I spend on them. Also, my tutu business hasn't started yet. So I feel guilty when I spend more money than needed and I wish I were bringing in money.

I am doing all I can to figure out advertising my photography. I want to do photography but I can't get the business!!

My plan for the next 7 years:
Do photography, cakes, tutus whenever I can get work for the next year.
Do two years of preschool while Athena is preschool age. Make lots of money. :)
If I still like it I will continue to do preschool when Athena starts Kindergarten. Ster thinks I will not like it at all. I can understand why...I complained quite a bit when I did preschool for Tiberias and his friends. BUT...back then...I was not suppose to be the only teacher. It was a co op class. But the other mom teacher ended up to the task most of the time and I ended up teaching it at my house instead.
Plus, back then, I was not getting paid.

Next time I will be prepared to do the only teacher all year and I will be excited to do it because of the income.


Next on my life list...when Athena is 8 years old Ster and I will become foster parents fulfilling that dream of mine.
 

9th Wedding Anniversary

Yesterday was mine and Sterling's 9th wedding anniversary. Since he is home mornings this week we went on a morning date. I scheduled for all of our three children to play at friends' houses that morning and afternoon.

We started our date at Flags and Wheels. We played a round of laser tag...just us two. I had played the game only once before and it was just as fun this time with only the two of us as it was the first time with a whole group of my female friends.

I annihilated my husband that round. I did have an advantage...knowing the course. Whereas he hadn't been there before so he didn't know how big the room was, where the walls and deadends were at.

We moved on to something I have never done before...go cart racing. Ster did it once before...in Turkey. He was on a TDY (Military work trip) with a friend (Todd Mangle) at that time. It's been a few years.


I may not have driven very fast compared to Sterling but I had a blast. It was amazing fun!

From there we went downtown to our favorite place to eat...Tally's Silver Spoon. They are a small breakfast and lunch place. Amazing food!
We had a delicious lunch together. I had expected him to ask the question(s) I had come so use to hearing on our big dates..."Is there anything I have done that has bothered you?" or "Is there any thing you would like me to do better at?"
We would make sure there was no tension or bad feelings. Fix things and make them right.

I guess we've gotten past that because there wasn't been much I could complain about the last year or so.

And now a days if anything does bother me I consider it in my mind and figure out the best way to talk to Ster about it without causing trouble but then end up deciding I am the one who needs to change.
For instance...it sometimes annoys me that Ster doesn't help more. Sometimes he helps with the house cleaning and kids fabulously! And sometimes I wonder what is going through his head; when I need help with the kids and housecleaning (often on Saturday nights when we do baths and prep for Sunday) but he doesn't help. He might ask "What can I do to help?" Yes! So I give him one assignment. He does that in a jiffy then disappears. I have a whole list he can help me with but he is gone. So I imagine he is taking charge and cleaning something he knows needs it. It typically turns out he is playing on his computer.

OR he will come and ask if he can help me...after I get everything done. He waits. That drives me crazy!

BUT...what will change the situation is if I change how I do it. Instead of continuing my work wishing he would read my mind and come help I should stop. Take a break to find him and say "Please help me. This is what I need." Saturday nights overwhelm me and I desperately need him to start being helpful every time!


Back to our date...
We got so full at our delicious lunch that we had no room for dessert. So we walked around a little bit downtown looking at the shops and statues. Enjoying the beautiful day.
We walked into an adorable little candy shop where everything was way too high priced but it was very cute.

We decided to pick up our kids a little early (an hour early) which is typical when we go out on dates.
Ster had to work that afternoon and evening but we would have Culver's ice cream that night.
Ster ended up getting off work early enough that he bought an ice cream for the kids to share as well...to help us celebrate.

We are so happy together. We love our life! We love our marriage. We love our family. We love our home.

General Conference Weekend

What a wonderful Conference weekend!
Yesterday we took the kids to a park for a picnic lunch. It was a wonderful sunny day after waiting and waiting for Spring to finally come to Rapid Valley. So we were excited to be outdoors.
We also spent time outside at home later that day...riding bikes and drawing chalk. And playing with our water table we made this year. They get to play in the water on our back porch and they love it.

We chose not to watch Saturday's session of General Conference this year. We made a fun family day instead. And I will read some of the talks when they come out on the internet.

Tiberias was dreading General Conference. He doesn't like having to sit and listen or be reverent or be calm. So school, church, conference...they are all hard on him.
But when it came to it he found Conference isn't so bad after all! Even though I always give them fun games and activities to do to stay with us during the sessions he found this time it wasn't too hard on him. I think it's because he's getting older and more mature.

This time we had mini picture conference bingo cards. They had to get three in a row. They had a maze to draw their way through and a coloring page each (the boys). Cheerios to eat. Blankies to cuddle with. And it was easier to sit the two hours because he had gone on a long walk beforehand.
This morning we ate our traditional blueberry muffins but I added blueberry pancakes to the mix. Then we went on a family walk to the school (about 20 mins walk with the kids). We played just a little while at the school park before walking home again. Then they were ready to sit and rest for the two hours. And after the session of Conference I took the kids outside for more leg stretching fun. Luke played chalk drawing while Athena and Ty took me down the street with their bikes.

I use to think outside play (playgrounds, bikes, etc) were not appropriate for Sundays. But now I think it's good for them. It helps them prep for having to sit reverently. And it's also fine because we did it together. As a family.

And near the end of the morning session I allowed the kids to use all the couch cushions to make a house. I helped them build it so it wouldn't fall too easily. All three kids enjoying sitting in it, under the tv, where they could still hear the talks. And we ended that session with a picnic lunch in the tv room. The kids sat on a blanket to eat their homemade croissant roll pigs in a blanket, peas, apples and a single chicken nugget (we ran out of chicken nuggets today).

During the last session of conference we had a dessert break before it ended. I baked some yummy fudgy brownies from a box and threw some mint ice cream on top. As Ster and I sat down with our dessert to hear Elder Holland's talk he spoke a funny coincidence. He talked about how the audience was probably anxious for him to get his talk over with so we can go eat our after conference ice cream. I had to laugh. We don't usually have ice cream after conference or even every Sunday. It was just a coincidence.

A little while ago Sterling decided for our family that we cannot foster other people's children at this time. I was hurt because I want to help and I feel I can handle protecting other people's children and giving them what they need while at the same time protecting our children from those children.
But after I got over the hurt and started looking forward to the day that will be right for our family to foster I came to see that it was right. And now I appreciate even more how perfect our little family is right now. How much love, peace, fun, innocence and perfection we have right now.
Luke is the least physical of my family. And he is quiet about what he thinks and feels but I think he too enjoys being hugged and told "I love you" now. He didn't as much when he was a toddler. He would push me away when I hugged him.

Tiberias was the opposite. He has always wanted to be permanently attached to me.  And Athena is just as cuddly and affectionate.

At the end of every day we have our nighttime prayers. Each child says a prayer and then we have a big family hug. Everyone loves it.

Athena will come up to individuals and latch on to them and say in a dreamy voice"love."
If Dad is laying on the couch she will climb on and lay with him and cuddle up and say "love daddy!" It's so precious!

Sometimes she even does it to friends. The other day a neighbor boy was over, Gunnar, and she went and hugged him and said "love Gunnar." He pushed her off.

Husband and Wife After 8 Years ~ Reflections on a Sunday

Yesterday (Sunday) Sterling and I went to nursery as usual. Nursery is my calling and Sterling has no calling but I need his help in nursery. I love taking care of the nursery kids but we have 13-17 kids every week. Jenn, my partner, and I need more than just us to manage the kids.

We gave a baby gate we no longer need to a family who wanted it. And I gave out the baby shower invitation flyers for each auxiliary where women are during church hours. I gave a baby shower a couple weeks ago and am already involved in another one. With the last baby shower I put a lot of work into it. I made the decorations and invites and flyers and shower games. I had help providing food. With this current shower I am doing the decorations, invites, flyers, cake and helping with two of the games. I am getting good at doing baby showers and the women receiving the party feels loved and grateful for the efforts.

At church we were handed the Roberts' computer to take home and fix. Sterling is really good at fixing computers and has helped out many people in the ward for free. Most people who need help buy cheap computers and maybe don't have good anti virus software. So they get viruses and their computers slow down and have issues. Sterling cleans them, wipes them clear and installs good software and antiviruses.

In our ward we , Ster and I, do a lot of service. With church callings and more. I watch other peoples kids even on short notice for free. We help any way we can. We don't really have to go looking for service opportunities because the ward knows us and our skills by now. They come to us and we happily help.

In our service efforts we bless others' lives but in return Heavenly Father blesses us.

Recently my visiting teaching companion had a baby. A week or two later a sister we visit teach had a baby too. I brought dessert and visited with my companion after her baby came along. She had a scary delivery and a hard post partum. So I was happy to visit with her, keep her company and make sure she was doing better.

Well yesterday was Fast Sunday and I spent the whole afternoon cooking and baking. I made croissant rolls from scratch, chicken salad sandwich filler and choc choc chip cookies. I took some of all those things and sweet pulled pork Sterling made over to the Mchaley's (the sister I visit teach who just had her baby). I brought them dinner for last night and the pulled pork for a freezer meal for later in the week.

Katie Mchaley is doing well. She has recovered nicely and feels great after a fast and smooth delivery.
After that visit I went to Kayla, my v.t. companion and gave her back her computer Sterling fixed. She is having a hard time because her baby still won't sleep at night while she has young twin boys and a toddler at home. She is teaching them school at home this year.  I let her know I am available every morning this week if she needs any help she can call me.

On the drive home from the military base where I made my visits I thought a lot about my wonderful husband. Lately I've been realizing that our perfect relationship can't remain so wonderful without much effort. After 8 years of marriage you have to work hard to keep the relationship exciting and strong. I've been discovering ways to do that.

Saturday we went on an exciting date where we ziplined in the mountain. Ziplining is something a little scary that Ster and I each experienced only once in our youth. After so many years have gone by it was hard to remember the whole experience.  I was worried it would be too high off the ground and that the end, the jerk at the bottom, would be too rough.
I was surprised to learn something I did not know about my husband...he is afraid of heights. He said the tower doesn't bother him (his work tower) but standing in the trees reading to fly down a line in a harness makes him nervous.
So it was exciting and a little scary for both of us. But the Tramway Adventures zipline in Keystone SD was not too high off the ground. It was so awesome flying through the trees! So much fun! And doing it with Sterling made me feel stronger and happier in our relationship.
I had picked the activity so Sterling picked the place to eat. We went to Sanford's for the first time and it became our new favorite restaurant. The environment was fun and the food was amazing. It costs more than other places in town but tastes so much better than the others. We'd rather go to Sanford's once in a while than eat out often at places that don't impress us.


                          Another thing I realized that helps me feel stronger and happier in my relationship with Sterling is to say the things I love about him out loud. On the drive home from the base yesterday I remembered that saying words out loud has power. I learned that from my mother.
I often think about the things I love about Sterling but I don't usually say them out loud.
So , alone in the car, wishing I had a friend with me to say it to I spoke aloud the things I love about Sterling. It takes over 15 mins to drive home. So I had that much time to think about how wonderful he is.

Some of the things I said are: "Sterling helps me to be a great mom. With his help and giving me breaks I don't get burned out. That causes me to be able to continue to be patient and happy and a great mom."
"Sterling is so wonderful to serve others. He could charge money for his computer services but that's not how he is. He isn't about making money any way he can. He is all about helping others."
"One of his priorities is to keep me stress free and happy. And I am so thankful for that. He has striven for that since we first got married."
"He doesn't always step in to help clean my chores or take care of the kids. But if he knows I need help he will definitely step in. And he does clean up his computer desk and his own stuff often."

You know what...saying them out loud made me feel more appreciation and love for him. Simply thinking about those things was not enough. Saying things outloud truly has great power.

I got home and walked in the house to find Luke cleaning. I saw the kitchen had been cleaned up and all the dishes done. The upstairs was clean! And downstairs I found Sterling and Ty cleaning the tv room! I could hardly believe it.
I knew immediately why he did it. It wasn't that I was getting burned out. It was that Sterling wanted to spend time with me and he knew if I had dishes to wash and things to take care of I would not be able to.
Sterling's actions that evening made me feel more love and joy for him. He truly is wonderful.
The house was clean and we were able to relax and watch tv together. The kids are pretty good at leaving us alone to do that once in a while.

Selfless Marriage

A couple days ago I was pondering my wonderful marriage. I realized that I was the more selfish one in the relationship. Sterling loves spending time with me. He wants more time together than I typically do. I spend my time with the kids, cleaning the house and with my husband. I do take time for myself when Sterling is at work. I take time to facebook, watch a girly show, and do something fun for me like scrapbooking or making hair bows. When Sterling is home from work I spend time with him but then I find myself also wanting to do stuff for me and do stuff alone. Even though Sterling still wants to be with me I would rather go do something for me or sometimes even do some housecleaning that I was not able to get to because of the kids.

Yesterday evening Sterling brought up our marriage; as often happens due to the constant reminder of others that marriage isn't always as wonderful as ours. Sterling said "But I could be less selfish". I almost laughed at that. I then told him how I was thinking I was the more selfish one in our relationship.

He said "I spend more of the money." Which is true. He does always say that we need to save money and not spend but then he ends up buying more unnecessary things than I do. "How are you selfish?" he asked. I told him about my wanting more time for just me. He agreed that was true.
So yesterday we pointed out one way our marriage isn't perfect.

However, in that conversation we also proved how amazing our marriage is that we both see past our spouse's greed and see only how we could improve ourselves. That proves we are selfless in some ways.

The funny thing is that the times I do think "I wish Sterling would do that for me" and I realize he could be more selfless are the times I feel guilt for thinking of myself and wishing he were different.

Sterling is not perfect (neither am I) but it would be a truly amazing world if all men were like him.

Celebrate 30 years of Tiffany

I love birthdays! For Sterling's 30th we did not have a party. That's his favorite way to celebrate. But for me...I definitely wanted a party.

The perfect party theme...Swing Dancing!

The Saturday after my birthday some friends came over to celebrate with us. Al & Malinda Stone and James & Martha Aston. I decorated with store bought silver stars hanging from the ceiling and black cutout silhouettes of swing dancing couples which I had cut out myself. I had decorated the tv room and there we danced. Sterling and I taught our friends some basic dance moves: the Triple Step, Rock Step, Bow Tie and the She-He turn. We practiced those moves and then turned on Swing music. We danced a while and it was a lot of fun.

I started Swing dancing in high school.  I fell in love with it right away! I joined the school's swing dance club and I thought it was amazing. Unfortunately the leaders of the club graduated and nobody knew enough swing to take over.
Then Zack Guymon who became my best friend happened to love swing dancing too. So we would practice together. When my brother Aaron got married Zack and I were pretty good at swing dancing. At the wedding reception we showed off our moves. I didn't have any idea if it even looked good because I was doing it. But one day, years after the wedding, (I think it was Nicole) someone showed me a video from the reception that showed some of our dancing and it looked awesome! I wish I had that video. I have asked Aaron and Nicole to see if they can find it but I never heard back from them about it.

I went to a swing dance club, free at BYU, once with friends. Since then I've only danced with my husband. We practiced basic swing. I was trying to teach Sterling to swing because I love it so much and he was willing to do it for me. But it's not as fun when you don't do it all the time...when you are out of practice. It's fun when you dance so much that you and your partner are good at it. Sterling and I...we are out of practice.


At my 30th party we danced. We hung out while our kids played in the boys' bedroom.
I served chicken salad croissant sandwiches and we had brownies and ice cream for dessert.

30 years of happiness. And my life is more amazing than ever. My life is perfect. God blesses me in more way than I can count.