Tiffany- Thursday, September 27, 2012
I have been wanting to write for the longest time, but
things have just been so busy! Going
back to work has really been hard on me in the sense that I now have no time to
do what I normally do – I wasn’t expecting to go back to work this fall – in
fact I was really looking forward to Nephi going back to school, maybe Isaiah
and Moroni getting jobs, and I get my stay-at-home life back. 2 days after school started I was offered
this job and I took it. I couldn’t pass it up!
My friend at the power plant offered me her office job. It
is a great job! I really like this job,
and feel really comfortable there, since I was already working at the plant and
was familiar with it.
But I wasn’t prepared for it, so I feel like I was thrown in
a lake and I’m swimming and swimming, and hoping to catch a breath!
I will be able to float, after I a while.
I am also still teaching sewing – one class on friday and
one on saturday morning. I wasn’t going to, but a mom talked me into it. I do
really love it – and it’s not hard, I just have to juggle a little harder!
Isaiah and Moroni take up the slack. Isaiah does the dishes and Moroni does the
laundry. thank goodness for their help!!!
I have been following you on facebook – so I am happy to see
what you’ve been up to. It sounds like
you are busy and happy. You are such a
good mom! and your boys are growing up
so fast!!!!
I am going to check out your blog too.
I usually get to do stuff like that at work, but lately at
work I have been really busy, too. I am going thru all the files and
reorganizing. It is hard work getting organized! (my friend had a crazy filing system – they
needed to be straightened out)
anyway – just wanted to let you know I was thinking about
you – and glad things are going well.
I love the cakes you have been making! It’s nice to see you developing your talents.
have a great day!Smile love mom
Hi Mom. September
27, 2012
Good luck with your unexpected busy schedule!
When I do cakes I end up not giving my sons as much time and
attention. Now I have a dog who needs time and attention (training) as well.
This week they've all three been neglected and it's showing in the dog. She's
backtracking. Ster says we need to spend an hour a day with her.
When a baby cries a
mother picks it up and tends to it's needs and desires. When a puppy whines a
master is to ignore it until it quiets down. A master is to have a firm hand
and control over the puppy. It may sometimes feel she's an extra child but I am
definitely not her mother! The role is so different! It's hard to be Master. I
am learning.
What else is going on with me lately...I'm having a hard
time feeling secure in friendships.
I have such a wonderful ward. I have, of course, girls I am
closer to than others. But it's like I need to loved by everyone.
I try to do social events often. Trips to the beach,
camping, etc. I invited tons of people in the ward but nobody every comes. I
naturally take it personally. Even something as simple as a play date. I am
lucky if I get one family to come.
I feel like there is something wrong with me/us. Are we
aukward to be around as a couple? Am I socially aukward. Am I too collected,
composed? Not silly enough? Do I not show my emotions enough...let people know
I like them and want their company? I just can't figure it out. I can only
guess.
My friend Nelli says it's nothing and that it's just
everyone's schedules that keep them from attending. But there are trips that
others in the ward do together and they post pictures...sometimes pretty large
groups. Do we get invited to those? no.
Right now we have been in the ward longer than everyone but
one family. There is one family that arrived in Italy like a week before us
that are still here.
It bothers me that I am not loved because I like to be so
social. I love planning parties and being invited to them.
Then with the people I know are my friends I want to be like
family with them. I want them to be comfortable in my home and with my family
as if we were family.
The other day my friend Carla was babysitting our kids so we
could go on a morning/afternoon date. When we picked up our kids our close
friends Nelli and Todd were at Carla's house with their kids as well. Nelli was
washing Carla's dishes. When I walked in and saw it I felt a feeling of comfort
and family.
Now, at my house I don't like people to do the dishes.
Friends come for dinner and then try to do my dishes! I have learned to be act
ok with it and keep them company while they do my dishes. But I try to always
have the dishes done or atleast in the dishwasher when friends come for a meal
so they can't wash my dishes.
I have a clean house
whenever I have guests. And I don't often have problems being a mom. I have it
all together. But maybe that's the problem. Maybe my friends want to be
needed...to do dishes, etc. Maybe we can't get close like family because I am
so collected.
But,as you can tell, emotionally I'm not so collected.
Today we are suppose to go on a camping trip. Of course,
none of our friends we've invited are coming with us.
But Luke threw up in the night and when he got up this
morning so I'm not sure how it's going to work out. Hopefully Luke will feel
better and we can go on this trip.
On a brighter note...having Cora really does keep me from
being homesick. It's only been amonth we've had her but it's so nice not to be
homesick. Ster and I want so much to be with our families in America!
I love you!
~Tiffany September
28, 2012
It’s really hard when you try to be friends with people, and
they don’t respond back -
I had had a really hard time with that out here – I tried to
get into a “group” or at least become friends with some of the ladies in our
ward. They were really friendly, but not really my friend. I invited a few
(individually and at different times) to go shopping with me- most of them said
they couldn’t but one sister flat out told me “no” that really hurt – I just
couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me that no one wanted to hang out with
me or be my friend. They all had their friends already. I really needed a
kindred spirit.
I finally became close to my best friend Carmen. She really
is a kindred spirit. She is the only 1 I
hang out with – the only friend I need.
Maybe you are trying to be friends with too many people?
It’s nice to have a kindred spirit to really be close to. we
all need friends. especially women.
earlier in my life I had 2 friends – crystal wadsworth and
michelin york. I am still friends with
both of them.
I’m not sure why I was friends with crystal – I think I was
becoming friends with her, then she moved across town. we are still friends,
but only see each other 2 times a year – on our birthdays.
michelin helped me thru some really tough times and I am so
grateful to her for our friendship. we were really close, and we would hang out
every day – either her house or my house. we both homeschooled, so it was easy
to do.
then michelin moved to washington state.
I had another friend -
Jara’s mom – what was her name? -that I was becoming close to – do you
remember Jara? That’s how I met her
mom and we became friends. even though
her lifestyle was so different from mine and she had different moral values, we
still became close. then she moved.
It was like all my friends moved away. I had no one to confide in. I prayed about
it, and God told me that he took away my friends so that I would learn to rely
on Him instead of just going to my friends with my problems. It was a good
lesson for me. But it meant I didn’t
have any close friends or kindred spirits. I really needed a kindred spirit.
maybe you need to look around and pick out 1 or 2 families
that you would like to be close to. see if you guys fit well together. don’t
try so hard to throw big parties and activities. You are such a fun person to
be around – both you and Sterling – it’s not you. People are busy.
You are very social- which is awesome!
Pray about it. And
relax. Let things flow. You will be able to become close friends with
people you are suppose to be friends with.
I know that because you are so far from family, you need
friends to feel like family. There are
others in your ward/area who feel the same way. You just need to find a
“fit”. Keep trying, but relax about it –
it will happen.
also – forget yourself and find others who need you.
I needed my friends, but they also needed me.
love mom
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