Month 9

We moved into our new house about a week ago! Just in time for Christmas! Unfortunately our furniture and belongings, though in the area, cannot be delivered until January 7th! Apparently it's a busy time for the moving company and that was their first opening.

We have two little folding chairs and a tiny patio table of the little boys' I bought this summer. We have a cheap camp chair, an exercise ball and a cooler for Sterling and I to sit/eat on.
Sterling bought three small mattresses for the boys' future bunk beds with trundle underneath. We are sleeping on those. Other than that we have no furniture in the house!

The up sides to being in the house...1. we have a house! We won't close on it until January 6. But it's good to be out of the base hotel and have a big back yard.
2. Our ward seems wonderful. Lots of young families (middle aged and younger) and so friendly!
3. Our bins and things are no longer in the van taking up space...we have room in the house for all the belongings I drove up here from Logandale.

It has been really cold most of the time we've been in South Dakota. There have been a few days that got pretty warm...very few days. It was beautiful and snowy on Christmas Eve and Christmas day! And the temperature went up so it wasn't too cold either. Day after Christmas the snow is melting...more than I've seen since we got here.

Tiberias did not like the new house. Maybe because he's sick of moving. Maybe because we have no furniture so it makes him feel insecure even more.
He has his dad back...we are all together as a family. But he worries. He doesn't want us to split up...even if he's just going outside with dad for a few minutes...he wants mom to come too.
He denied this as our house for quite a few days after we moved in. "We didn't move here! This isn't our house."

Tiberias has slept in the same room as me the whole time Sterling was apart from us. Then we came to South Dakota and he slept in the living room of the hotel while Ster and I were in the bedroom but we didn't have too many problems. When we got into the house however, he began to have hard nights. He has nightmares and is freaked out about his door being closed. We don't close his door...so he can feel better. But he still wakes up more than once a night yelling "don't close my door" or "is my door closed?"
If he hears any noises he starts yelling or crying because he's scared.  He wakes up randomly and yells "mom!" or "Wake up!" or something.
I am use to Ty waking up scared at night...he did that even at my parents' house and Ster's parents' house when I slept in the room with him. 
So being use to it I wake easily at the sound of him yelling. Sterling usually wakes up later...like after I've already rolled out of bed and gotten my big pregnant body to the bedroom door.

But Ty's waking (like 5 times a night) has been getting worse. So Sterling has stopped being understanding about it and just telling him firmly that he has to be quiet and go to bed. He will just yell to Ty now through the wall "Go back to sleep!"  It think it's helping. lol.

It is hard being so pregnant with pains/aches and trying to be comfortable enough to sleep then having Ty wake me atleast five times a night. 

He may start to feel more secure and at ease in this house once we get our old furniture and things...unfortunately that's still almost two weeks away.  Blah. I'm crossing my fingers that the moving company will have someone cancel so we can have our delivery date moved up.

We have spent a lot of money, buying things to move into the house (paper towels, disposable plates, towels, mattresses, broom, vacuum, etc) that we are tight on money. And we don't have much furniture coming so a lot we will have to buy. And we have a lot of rooms to furnish. So money is a bit of a stresser right now. We will be spending our money on the house and furnishings for probably a year. That includes the big tv we plan on getting by next Christmas, the swingset for the backyard, and a shed for the backyard. Not to mention that wall between the kitchen and living room that we want to tear down and replace with a counter/island or the garage we want to build for our driveway.

With all the snowy weather they have here I thought most houses would have garages. However, all the houses that are older do not have garages. The newest houses do.

With the stress of money we have not yet bought an infant carseat or baby wipes.  With over three weeks until the due date of the baby we are waiting another week or so before making those purchases.

In Italy I was so happy! Every day was wonderful. We had a home, routines, friends, a wonderful life. I did pretty well to stay happy over the summer without Sterling, I think.  Being homeless and looking for a place to live late in the pregnancy I was not exactly "happy." I was optimistic, avoiding stressful thoughts and feelings. Just waiting. Waiting to find a house, to get our stuff back and to have this baby.

Now we are in the house but I am not yet able to feel the joy I felt every day in Italy. We are in a mostly empty house...waiting. Waiting for Winter break to end so we can enroll Lachoneus in school. Waiting for our stuff to come so we can start to settle and help the boys feel more secure. Waiting for the time for my parents to come out and visit to help us with the boys and the delivery of Athena.

So basically we have nothing to do for two weeks then it will be A)close on the house  B)Get our stuff  C) my parents come out and then D) Athena's birth.
I'm not sure when the winter break ends for Luke to start school. Their website was not helpful at all.

I must be crazy not to be completely happy right now. My husband is amazing! So sweet, romantic and wonderful. My boys are getting older which I love...Luke is so helpful! 
Tiberias is doing great to keep his underwear dry all night.  He is my difficult one though...poor kid. My life is hard when his life is hard.

I blame my not being in "happy" mode every day on the pregnancy. My aches, size, and readiness to welcome Athena into our world.  It's hard making the little boys wait too...I'm so excited for them to see and meet her!

Sterling has had a week off of work to house hunt/inprocess. And then time off for Christmas. Monday he goes back to work. He's only gone to work a few days since we've been here but I always miss him when he's gone.
During that time I do school with the boys. I have not done much school with them but I plan on cracking down on it when Luke gets into school. I worry Tiberias is behind on his preschool education.  He really needs to learn his ABCs. I've been teaching him them for like a year but he struggles with them.

We had an amazing Christmas holiday even without our furniture or Christmas decorations.  We had snow outside, homemade goodies in the house, a posterboard Christmas tree the little boys helped make decorations for and a whole cut out paper Nativity story scene on the wall too.

We are so blessed!

This morning I realized that I need to be better to my soul. I have not been reading my scriptures which will strengthen me spiritually and give me patience for my children. And I have not been practicing singing!  This morning I realized I need to sing! It fills me with joy!
So today I practiced singing and tonight we are going to read the scriptures as a family. We need to do this every night.


Right now the boys and Ster are watching a cartoon together...laying on the floor.  Ster and I will probably watch a tv show together on the laptop while the boys watch their movie on the tablet. Then we'll get ready for bed and read scriptures.

There are things I could do to prepare for Athena if only...if only I knew which room is going to be hers! Ster wants her room next to ours upstairs and I want hers to be the one in the basement right at the bottom of the stairs. I don't think the boys could handle being so far from mom and dad all night.Ster thinks that may be what Ty needs. But no...he needs to feel secure to get over his night terrors. In time he will be. Putting him farther from us will just make it so we have to go all the way downstairs to put him back to bed or comfort him.
Athena will be in our bedroom in the bassinet for like three months anyway. But I have decorations for her room that I could put on the wall if I knew which room is going to be hers. Plus, we have to close on the house before I can put holes in the walls.

My mom is bringing up the crib. So we don't have anything set up for her yet. When our belongings come we can cover all the outlets which we need to do soon because Ty keeps trying to put stuff in them.
We'll be able to set up the bassinet.

So much to do but we can't do anything yet.

Stress, Power Struggle and Sleep Deprevation

It has been about three months since Sterling went to Mississippi without his family.
It was always hard to be without him. However I kept busy and had our families and the little boys. Then I went and spent a long weekend with him alone in Mississippi which was amazing.
Now that we are just a couple weeks away from moving to South Dakota and being with Sterling, it's so close and yet so far. It's so exciting but that excitement turned into longing and not being able to wait.
I had about two days of pure excitement and happiness then started falling into a depression. I started eating worse, not caring, despite the fact that I've been eating unhealthy and too much sugar since I came back to the states.

• Tiberias is really difficult to handle. And right now I just can't deal with it well. With the stress and my growing belly, making things harder to do as the pregnancy gets closer to it's end, and missing Sterling so much. Being so ready to find a home and get our belongings back and regain some kind of routine of our own. 

• Today I started to teach the boys homeschool. We colored pictures of the first Thanksgiving and I taught them the story. We turned the colorings into a book. Luke has become such a great colorer! He has practiced in homeschool so much that now I am proud and impressed with his work.
• But after that activity we went to Mcdonald's for lunch, my mom's idea and her treat too, and to the grocery store. I felt so overwhelmed at the thought of doing any school this morning. And I decided that I'm just too stressed to do school.
• Next week is our last week then we drive to Provo for the weekend and drive to South Dakota beginning the next week. Then we will be homeless looking for a house and then trying to settle in. Then the baby will come and Luke will be in school by then. So I don't know when I will start homeschooling again. 

Luke has been a whiner a lot this year and it was driving me crazy. But not as much as Ty's disobedience and strong will to be so. But lately Ty is so difficult that I am starting to just see how wonderful Luke is. How helpful he is! How much I love that he can use the restroom, get dressed and do so many things without my help. He is also good at helping me and helping Tiberias. I am focused on those things right now.

Yesterday mom pointed out to me that the problem with Ty and I is that we have a power struggle. He wants to have the power and be in control and I am trying to do that.
I started reading the Five Love Languages for Children book. I am trying to learn how to better love and discipline ( Tiberias mostly) my children.

Today I looked up online how to deal with power struggles and power hungry children. I read an article about it. It said that parents can choose to not make a big deal out of things that are not as big a deal as a barefoot child coming into a room where broken glass is on the floor.
I thought that going to use the toilet was worth fighting over so he doesn't wet his pants but the article said it's not. I thought about it and realized that I can give Ty the option of going to the bathroom instead of demanding he do it. Then he has to deal with the consequences of his choices.
And when it's night and he's going to bed and he refuses to go use the toilet his consequence is he has to wear his pee alarm all night. He's been fighting me in the middle of the night when I get him up to pee. He will throw himself on the floor and scream and cry and do everything except use the toilet. But now I will not make him get up. He will wear the pee alarm and if he wets the bed he has to wake up enough to use the toilet, get changed and let me change the sheets on his bed. His choice.

The article said that these young children who are so strong willed need to make their own choices and their own mistakes. Trying to make them do what I want because I know better just isn't working.

I talked to Sterling on the phone about it and we decided that I can change what I'm doing. Instead of demanding he do things and giving him the opportunity to disobey I can give him a choice. Then it's not a fight.

The problem is that he is disobedient all day long every day. It drives me insane. I can reduce the amount of times he disobeys by giving him the choice more.

The only problem I see now is his wanting to go downstairs to start his day way too early every morning.
He wakes up before 7am every day...sometimes as early as 5:30a. He tries to go downstairs and I jump out of bed to make him come back into the room. Luke sleeps in!
Ty keeps me awake or mostly awake until I finally get up and let him leave the room with me.

Then I try to give him a nap in the afternoon so he won't fall asleep at dinner time...which he has been doing lately. Half the time he refuses to nap. So around 6pm he starts getting really sleepy and I have to keep him awake. His bedtime is 8:30p so that he won't get up too early the next day.
He has a really hard time staying up until his bedtime.

Today he didn't nap and at 7pm he fell asleep on the couch. Tomorrow he will be up way too early. But I'm tired of fighting him. I am planning to let him up early tomorrow and we will both take a nap in the afternoon. I have needed naps lately...being 7 months pregnant.

The big problem is that he wakes others up when he gets up too early. And Moroni works all night and sleeps all morning. So Ty being loud is a problem. And if I try to make him do what I want like come back to the bedroom he screams and yells and cries...waking everyone.

Reunited Husband and Wife

I left the boys at the Roundy house so I could get on a plane to go visit Sterling.
I had not seen Sterling in person in two months. That's a long time. I missed him so much and was so excited to go see him.
The boys and I were doing great. I had been focusing on what I love about them and had adjusted my methods of disciplining. I try to not show anger at the boys. I try to be calm when I need to discipline them or correct them. I avoid spanking. I will put them in time out and/or threaten to spank them before I get to spanking. Plus, what has really helped a lot lately is the behavior chart. Behavior charts are hard to do because I have to keep up on it every day all day but they are very affective.
So there is a smily face side of the chart and a frowny face side: Good and Difficult.
If a child listens to me they get their name on the good side. If they disobey or ignore me they get their name on the difficult side. The big motivation is a special secret prize when they fill up the good side of the paper with their names.
Ty has his name on the difficult side two times in a day and a half but Luke has not gotten any there.

Anyway, things were going great. They are loving being at their grandparents' Roundy house. They love playing with soccer balls in the front yard with whoever will play with them. One afternoon Trevor and Simone came over to visit and they ended up with Travis and Hannah playing soccer with the boys.

It was hard to leave them even for just a few days. I was worried the boys would have a hard time with mom leaving for days since they've had to deal with daddy being gone two months already. SO I made them a count down chart so they can mark off the days til mommy comes home.

 Thursday October 24 I got up early and got ready to leave for my flight. The little boys were sleeping but I woke them just enough to say goodbye. Ty had a harder time with my leaving than Luke.The evening before I was using the restroom and I heard Tiberias yell "Mommy! Mommy!" looking for me. Then I heard Luke say "I think she's already gone" as if my leaving wasn't a big deal. I then imagined the sad look Ty must have had at thinking I was gone and didn't even say goodbye.

In the morning when I was about to leave I said goodbye to Luke and he went right back to sleep. I said goodbye to Tiberias and could tell he did not want me to go. After goodbyes I told Ty to go back to sleep. I left the room. A few seconds later he called "Mommy!" I went back in and said goodbye again.

Kelly and Denise both drove me to the airport in Salt Lake. I said goodbye to them and went in. I was already checked in and had my boarding pass with no luggage to check so it was pretty easy. Online the night before is so convenient.
I took as little as I could for the trip so I would not have to wait at baggage claim ever.

My flight was at 8:40a from Salt Lake to Dallas/Fort Worth. There I was blessed to have met someone from there , on my plane, who told me where I needed to go and which gate I was going to be at. He had looked it up on his phone for me as soon as we landed. I had to hurry to get on the shuttle to go over to the building that had my flight. I made it.
But I also needed lunch. The airport Starbucks had sandwiches but they were $9 and didn't look very appetizing. SO I got chips and a candy bar from the vending machine.

It was hard to fly almost 6 months pregnant. The seats were uncomfortable and I was cramped, leg room etc.  The first flight seemed to take forever. I read my book for about an hour but it felt like two hours. Then I tried watching a show on the tablet but didn't have headphones.

The second flight, from Dallas to Gulfport Mississippi, I had no one sitting next to me so I stretched out...legs on floor to my left.  It was a much shorter flight.

Sterling met me there at the airport! SO wonderful to see him! When I hugged him I smelled him and realized I had forgotten what he had smelled like. It was a nice remembrance.

We got in the car and drove to Biloxi, not far from the airport. It is beautiful here! Green trees and grass all over. The beach in Biloxi! Gorgeous! The base is right there by the beach and Sterling lives on the base in the hotel.

Thursday we got Papa John's pizza and a giant cookie and brought it back to the hotel. We enjoyed staying in that night.
Sterling surprised me with a colorful bouquet of flowers that were waiting for me on a bedside table in his room. Along with coconut chocolate granola bars and a big bag of Twizzlers, my favorite!

We did go out for a walk that night. Walked by the beach and back. It's not cold here. That night I walked without long sleeves. But it started to cool down in the mornings and night after that.
We had called and talked to our boys twice that day. Once when I got to Biloxi for the first time and then again at night. The boys were doing great.


Friday morning we hit the road to go to the temple. Now the closest temple is over two hours away in the next state...Louisiana. Baton Rouge temple! It's a small temple and you have to make a reservation to do anything inside of it.

We drove to Baton Rouge but still had an hour and a half before our reservation...for a session in the temple. So we checked out all the restaurants in the area and ended up getting a brunch at McDonalds.Most of the dining places were closed because it was still morning. Our temple reservation was at noon.

We took pictures outside the temple and went in early to get ready. We borrowed temple clothes etc because we don't have ours (they are in government storage) and that temple doesn't rent out temple things. They let you borrow them.  :)

We did a session. It was different from doing a session in a big temple! And different from a live session because it was simply a regular video session.

When we left the temple we stopped at World Bass Pro Shop which was on the way home. That was fun! It's decorated somewhat like Cabelas does...woods and animals. With some live animals too, fish in ponds and big fish tanks, a raccoon in a cage! We walked around the store then went into their restaurant. We ordered alligator and crayfish! The alligator was a little rubbery. I liked the crayfish...it was fried so it wasn't in it's full body form where I'd have to eat it all but the head or whatever. And they had a sauce for the crayfish that I loved.

We drove back to Biloxi and did not need dinner right away. We had eaten at the restaurant around 2pm. We ended up just getting ice cream from an ice cream shop nearby instead of dinner that night. It was delicious, but expensive. We called the boys, Skyped with them, that evening. They were still doing great. They are so cute! We love our boys! They were able to go "hunting" with grandpa. Basically they went walking with him while looking for deer. They saw a doe deer so they didn't shoot it. They didn't see any male deer.

Saturday morning we went to Waffle House for breakfast. Waffle House's are everywhere! Moreso than even McDonalds....here. I got strawberry waffles and ster got a mix of blueberry waffle and chocolate chip waffle. It was yummy! It was a fun friendly restaraunt too. When we first walked in the door most of the ten workers there yelled out a greeting to us. The kitchen was right there for you to see while you sat to dine. It was a Saturday and it was busy so there were ten workers there! It was really fun.

Then we  went on a hike. We drove 30 minutes or so to get to a wonderful place where they have a good long trail. There was a pond and it was a beautiful day! I had seen pictures of Sterling on that hike and near that pond and now I was there with him!

We hiked about 2.5 miles out then back again. So just over 5 miles we went altogether. Then we drove home.

We ate a salad as a late lunch then went out for an early dinner. We had hoped to beat the rush at Ruby Tuesdays by arriving at 4:30 but it was busy when we got there!
We had a delicious meal! Our waiter was so friendly and it was just a really good time. We both bot burgers after our appetizer of coconut shrimp...amazing! I had a peach drink that had chuncks of fruit in it. It was pineapple juice orange juice and peach. mmm.
Then we got pumpkin cheesecake for dessert!

After that we went to the BX so I could see it. We looked for souvenirs for the boys. Sterling bought them each a military coin that says military brat and has a cartoon boy on it. I like it! They boys always want to
play with Sterling's military coins so now they can have one of their own.


Sunday morning we went on a walk and took pictures in front of one of the decorative airplanes on the base for our boys . We played Guess Who together...the new animal cards are fun.
We ate lunch, got ready for church and drove to church. The LDS ward for military meet at the base chapel building on base. Church services start at 1pm.
I was expecting a very small turnout but was surprised. There were 20+ people there and quite a few were female. Only three were under the age 18.
All of the speakers were there to give their talks and there was an amazing musical number by a man in the ward. I think some of the big turnout were people he invited to come hear him sing.
We had sacrament meeting then Priesthood/Relief Society. The women were very friendly and it was wonderful. After two hours of church there was no more. There was a mingle with food downstairs for the ward but Sterling and I did not stay for that. He said that usually do that every Sunday but he doesn't usually attend.

Instead of going to the hotel room we drove around. He showed me the other side of the base where the ocean comes to the base! It's beautiful! Such a beautiful place here and a beautiful base too. You can rent boats from on base, lol.

We drove to find Stephanie's house. My friend Stephanie Dale ,who I met on my street in Italy, lives here now! I didn't know where she was living. She had moved some months before we moved from Italy. I kept contact with her on facebook. I knew all of her children are now in school and since she's not in Italy she can have a job. So she has two. I think they are both part time. She enjoys working.

So a few days before I came out here she ran into Sterling at the BX store on base! And so now I get to go catch up with her. So Sunday we drove to find where she lives so I would know where it is Monday when I go by myself to visit.

We called our little boys who are still doing great. And we drove to the beach because I had not been there yet. I knew, driving by those beautiful sunsets on those sunny days that I was taking a chance waiting for Sunday evening to go enjoy a sunset at the beach. And I was right. Sunday evening it was cloudy and began to rain. We went anyway. Walked in the sand a little before it got too wet, took a few pictures and walked down the pier...keeping an eye out for lighting. lol. We didn't stay long.

Today is Monday. Sterling walked to work early this morning...it's not raining. I slept in. At 9:30a I am meeting Stephanie at her house so we can hang out. I am hoping she will want to go to the beach to hang out because I want more beach time and today might be a better day for it.
If not I will likely go myself to the beach to enjoy it just for a little while before Sterling is done with work for the day.

I am going to get to see Sterling for his lunch break. I am picking him up at 11:45ish. We'll have lunch together then he will go back to work. He will probably take the car and leave me at the hotel. It's only for a few hours more and I will need to pack up my stuff.

When Sterling finishes work for the day we will have maybe an hour and half together before he takes me to the airport. We are going to go out to dinner together as our goodbye. Maybe Dennys. I really like Dennys!
This evening I get on an airplane to Dallas Fort Worth then another to Salt Lake City. My last flight is to arrive around 10:45pm. So my boys will definitely be asleep when I get home but I will wake them with hugs and kisses then let them go back to sleep.

There is about a month and a half left before we move to South Dakota. After two months away from Sterling, then this wonderful vacation with him, I can totally take on a month and a half! I am so excited to have that count down to our move.
I love spending time with our families but it's missing one important thing...Sterling!!! I can hardly wait until our little family is whole again...united and perfect.

10 Yr Reunion

Dear Journal,                                                                                                                                     October 12, 2013

Maybe two years ago I realized my 10 year high school reunion would be happening when we got back to America. I had hopes I wouldn’t miss it. I started dreaming of the reunion. Me with my perfect husband and adorable boys. I wanted to be thin and pretty and have my husband by my side…even if my boys were only there with us in photograph.

Well, we came back to America and then via facebook the most social girls in my high school class posted about the reunion coming up! I planned to make sure I was staying in NV when the reunion would be so I would be able to go. But then I realized Sterling would not be able to go. L

And I won’t be thin exactly…my tummy would be “5 months pregnant” big. But I made a goal to stay in shape so I’d be a hot pregnant mommy. It’s actually getter that way because Ster won’t be with me so I didn’t want to be too hot at my reunion.

I looked up some friends I hadn’t had contact with in a while, via facebook, and made sure they knew about the reunion. I wanted Kevin Johnson, Anthony Lomelin, Devon Blake and Michael Rodriguez to come. But Michael is not someone I can find …his name is too common and he might not even have a facebook page. I also made sure Liz Floyd and Keith Reed knew about it. And then people I knew live out of state so they wouldn’t come…Justin Henderson & Brittany Ginter. Hugo (Fernando) Hurtado doesn’t have a facebook page so he didn’t get invited.

Friday October 11^th, (Nephi’s 17^th birthday by the way) was the class reunion. 2003 Mojave High School 10 year reunion! 7pm at Mojave High for their Homecoming football game. I was so happy to go back to the school for the reunion! But…I didn’t know most the people there. I recognized some faces but did not know their names. I knew Erica Forstrom. We were friends for a bit in high school, enemies for a short time and just acquaintances most of the time back then. She was friends with Megan Rafferty whom I was friends with first then Erica and Megan became inseparable and Megan became more snotty because of Erica…that’s why I stopped being friends with both of them.

Anyway, I caught up with Erica at the game and she was so sweet. She invited me to sit with her when I was sitting alone for a while.

She’s a high school teacher now. Apparently she had a baby maybe a year or so after graduation. Then she got a degree and started teaching. She was a teacher at Mojave high for a while!

Devon showed up and I was the only person he knew at the game. We chatted a little. He said he’s doing fine but didn’t give me any details of his life. I think it was more awkward for him than for me. But being alone and knowing him more than anyone else there was weird.

I left a little early to beat the traffic after the game. I drove to Nicole’s house on the other side of town. I slept on the couch at her house. Watched an episode of The Mentalist…fell asleep during it.

Being at the game made me miss Sterling so much! He wasn’t there to sit with me or put his arm around me or keep me company. I felt lonely there and after that.

In the morning I got up and got ready for the temple. Nicole and the kids were still asleep and I needed to get started on my day. So around 8am I left a thank you note written on a paper towel for Nicole and I snuck out.

I drove to the temple…driving anywhere in Vegas takes forever! All the traffic and traffic lights and distance. Vegas is so huge!

On the way to the temple I stopped at McDonalds for breakfast. Ate it on the way to the temple. Went inside, feeling depressed that I had to do that without Sterling also.

Inside the temple I couldn’t help but remember that’s where we got married. The Las Vegas temple! Over 6 years ago and we have never been happier about any decision. We have 100% trust in our marriage. We support each other completely; maybe not when I want to do something like get a trampoline or when he suggests getting a new gun even though we’re in Italy and he can’t even use it.

We are so in love. We look out for each other and make sacrifices to make the other person happy or comfortable. We help each other’s dreams come true. We are one.

In the temple I reconnected with God. I have not been to the temple as many times as maybe other women who’ve been married 6 years. Ster and I moved to Italy 2 years into our marriage…where we only went to the temple once a year because of the distance (time and money).

So going to the temple is stressful to me. I’m stressed, usually being pressed for time to get in for a session. Stressed about doing everything right and learning what I’m being taught.

So I’m not always happy to go to the temple. I do it because we are commanded to and because I am suppose to. So today in the temple I prayed in the chapel as I waited for the session to start…or for us to be led up to do a session. I prayed and apologized for not having more of a desire to attend the temple. I thought about the reasons I don’t feel a need to go to the temple more often…Sterling and I do a good job of having the gospel in our lives. And of striving to be the best we can as members of the church, members in the community and as parents. We strive to have a close relationship with God and do what He would have us do.  And in so doing our home is a temple. With love and peace and the spirit. With God. 

I don’t have a job I go to where there are people and things that take the spirit away. I don’t need to seek refuge or a break by going to the temple. I already have that in my life and a closeness to God.

But I always feel better about myself when I’ve gone to the temple…when I’ve done what I am suppose to. Today I felt great in the temple. I didn’t think I “needed” it but it turned out I did. It changed my mood from feeling depressed because I have not seen Sterling in 2 months to being my normal happy self. Although…I was no longer wanting to go to the 10 year reunion pool party that day. I already bought my ticket online so I had to go.  I decided I’d be late though.

I left the temple and went to Walgreen’s. I changed my clothes and found out about vhs to dvd transfer services. They cost $30 to get one done. Ster, on the phone, convinced me that we should just buy an at home/do it yourself thing. I don’t know what it is but Ster said they are from $30 to $120 or something. Mom has like ten vhs homemovies she wants to transfer so I told Sterling to go ahead and order it and we’ll get them all done. I just have one vhs of home movies I want to put on DVD.

That Walgreen’s was the one I worked at when Ster and I met and were married. I ran into Jean; a nice older woman who worked there before me and with me and is there still.

Then I went to Ross and bought some cute maternity clothes. Then I drove over to Aliente to the hotel where the party was. It was a poolside party with pizza.

It turned out to be really fun. I had invited Zack so I wouldn’t be alone but he had to work the night before so he couldn’t go to the game. And when it came to the party it was $15 at the door to get in and I wasn’t even planning to stay very long. Zack was so busy today that I told him to not worry about it and that I wouldn’t even be there long.

I ended up staying longer than I had planned. I had fun chatting with the group, the very small group, that came to the party. Unfortunately they had spent way more money on the party than they were getting back because there were not enough guests coming! None of my friends came…disappointing.

We passed around a year book from our senior year. We had two poolside room things and they brought out fresh fruit…the hotel did.

There was a giant framed picture of our senior class altogether. It was awesome! But it had Devon with his arms around me in it. We dated off and on throughout high school. That day that we did that picture Devon and I got back together! Just in time to do senior pics. We didn’t kiss though. We were seniors and I had kissed other boys in the past but he and I didn’t. Our first kiss, I believe, was after his mission. In Logandale, NV at the reservoir we had our first real kiss. And there was no magic. No spark. I just didn’t feel it. He wasn’t the one for me and it kept showing in many different ways. I wasn’t truly happy. I was in a depression. I had some debt and I hadn’t met the right man for me yet and I was depressed. I wanted to get married so bad, hoping that would take away the unhappiness. But marrying Devon would not have fixed my problem because he wasn’t the one for me.

I was depressed when I met Sterling and we dated. But marrying him WAS the answer to fixing me. He was the one! I didn’t believe in “the one”…a single person picked out to be “right” for you. But God had a plan and it involved a specific picked out man to make my life Heaven on earth.

Anyway, I enjoyed the pool party and won the “guess how many gum balls in the jar” game. Somehow I’m good at those. At baby showers and things I often win that game. So I left with a jar full of green and orange (Mojave’s colors) gum balls.

Before leaving the hotel I stopped at the DQ in the food court. I was in the mood for candy in ice cream. Usually I like it smooth and without chunks…but I was in a weird mood. Actually, it happens more often than I ever thought it would…now. Maybe because I’m pregnant…maybe not.

So I tried their new Smores Blizzard and LOVED it! I ate it on the drive back to Logandale.

It was disappointing how few people came to the reunion events! Some people, I think, just were embarrassed that they didn’t do more with their lives in ten years. And some didn’t care to relive high school memories. And some just have contact with all the friends they want through facebook. They already know what everyone’s up to without leaving their couch!

We took pictures at the football game and the pool party. So I will have those pictures saved.

It was funny…the day I was going back to Mojave Sterling happened to come across a real rattle snake. Funny because rattle snake is the mascot of my school! He had taken pictures of it and sent them to me…without knowing it was my mascot.

In other news… Next week will be crazy busy for me. Monday I am teaching two 9 yr old Faith in God girls and their leaders how to handle and decorate with fondant. Luke is getting a ride to soccer practice that evening.

Tuesday is Luke’s soccer game in the evening. Wednesday I have to go to Vegas for a checkup on the base at the hospital. In the evening I am singing “Happily Ever After” by Jenny Philips at the young women’s mutual night.

Friday Justin, my nephew, is going through the temple for his endowments getting ready for his mission. So if I get a sitter I’ll go for that.

Sunday is the primary program where Luke has a part…”I am thankful for my mommy and daddy.” Then that afternoon we drive to Provo…stopping in Cedar City to visit Alissa and Justin and James and taking a break from the drive.

Life is busy..life is sweet.

~Tiffany

Aaaarrgh Soccer!

Since Luke is not in Kindergarten this year, due to me homeschooling him until we move to South Dakota, I was excited to put him into a soccer league. The Moapa Valley has soccer teams for Kindergarten age up. I paid $45 for Luke to be on the team. They supply a soccer shirt, a coach, friends and fun.  Luckily my mom had soccer shoes and shin pads that fit Luke.

Monday, this week, was his first soccer practice. We had to drive to Glendale...about 15 minutes drive  (some of that on the freeway). There is not much in Glendal but there's a church and a water park and a park close to each other. The practices and games are held at that park.

Monday from 5:30-6:30pm is practice every week. Then we have a game once a week, varying on the day and time.

We met the coach and saw all the kids on the team. I'd say there's about 13. Unfortunately there is an other Luke on the team. The whole first practice the coach had trouble with what to call my Luke. He kept forgetting our last name. And I went to talk to him saying "His name is Lachoneus...but that's probably not any easier to remember than Luke Roundy." He agreed. I also mentioned that he could call Luke "Roundy" like his dad is called at work.  He said he'll figure it out but I'm not so sure. lol.

There are two kids who look younger than Luke on that team. Luke was the slowest of his age but I don't know how hard he was trying to be fast. He may just have been running for fun and not for speed.

They started learning soccer basics to help them in the games.  Luke was so happy to be going something active with so many other boys that he kept losing focus. He would pull grass up and put it in someone's hair. Or standing in line he would start bumping or pushing for fun. That lead to everyone around him bumping and pushing and it would spread down the line if it wasn't stopped. I had to step in and tell Luke to stop a few times as did the coach.

I had no idea what it would be like being a soccer mom. But at his age now I'm getting the picture...I will go to the practice and pay attention so that if Luke is not behaving properly I can step in and correct him. I will practice what Luke needs work on during the week so he will get better and be able to do, hopefully, well in the games.

It is just "fun" to Luke but I'd like him to do well and improve. Some of those kids are returning from last year so they know the drill. Luke has never done anything like this before.

 It was very windy and sprinkled a little during that first practice. Very windy! Until practice was over then it calmed down.

The moms are in charge of supplying snacks each game. I am in charge of the very last game...October 19th.

I am really happy about Lachoneus having this opportunity. He is very happy about it too. Ty did very well to let Luke and the other boys play on the field with the ball. Tiberias has done well to accept the fact that he isn't old enough to be on the team...even though it was a huge disappointment at first.

Tuesday morning I took the boys to a park down the street and had Luke practice a few things...kicking the ball short and he run with it, kicking the ball hard so it goes far, running fast, hands on his hips as the coach asked him to do so he won't pick up the ball and hitting the ball off his body without his hands.
Today we were going to practice at the park in the evening because the ward was having a Corn Roast they do annually. But Autumn played a minute with him, soccer, and that was it. I ended up not doing more than that.

My dad made a Stoffer's lasagna for the ward event....there were like 5 lasagnas there tonight! I made a Hawaiian sweet and sour chicken dish. Put it on rice. yummy!

Luke didn't want to eat the food I gave him. He is typically that way at potlucks. He's a picky eater.
But when he tasted the corn...mmmmm....he liked it as much as anyone. He and Ty loved it! They shared a whole cob. One would take a bite then hand it to the other. Taking turns and being fast because they were so excited about the yummy taste. It was so cute to watch. They were sitting on a bench facing each other eat and sharing.

(The title of this blog....there's a book we , the boys and I, love called How I Became A Pirate. The kids in the book plays soccer and when he's on the ship with the pirates he tries to teach them soccer. It's a way cute book and it's on my mind because we just got one from the library that's the same series called Pirates Don't Babysit. We read it tonight before the boys went to bed and it was fun)

Strengthening Family Quiz

With Sterling in Mississippi I have a hard time being patient with my children as much as ever before. So in church I am attending a Strengthening marriage and family class. It's from the church's social services but the Logandale 5th ward has been given permission to teach it for some years now. I am excited about it and want to learn how to better discipline my children.

They gave me a quiz with quotes last Sunday. I typed it up, wrote my answers and asked Sterling for his comments as well. Here are the results.

1.        My home is a haven of love and peace and happiness where the Spirit of the Lord chooses to dwell.

(True. We do well at that but our children are young which is easier than keeping a happy home with teenagers.-Tiff

True- I love being with you and our kids most of the time. Somehow I think teenagers will be much easier because they will hopefully be more logical -Ster

And I always have the issue…does it apply the same to raising small children as to raising teenagers? They are so different… so do they need different parenting techniques or the same?)-Tiff

2.        I never speak in loud tones in my home.

“Let husband and wife never speak in loud tones to each other, unless the house is on fire.” David O Mckay

            Mostly true I love the fact that we are always nice to each other and I think raising our voices to our kids are a needed added emphasis but I think I yell at them too much. -Ster

(False . This one is confusing because the quote only mentions marriage. You and I don’t raise our voices at each other. But we do yell at our kids. And sometimes I think “they won’t know I’m serious or take me serious unless I yell.” But sometimes I feel like yelling does nothing except teach them to yell.-Tiff)

3.        I love my family and they know it.   

(True. We make sure our children know we love them by telling them and spending time with them. By encouraging them and telling we’re proud of them -Tiff)

True-sometimes I wonder if Luke really knows if I love him but I think some of that is personality -Ster

4.        I am a good listener. I don’t listen to correct, advise, fix or share my own experiences-I listen simply to understand.

“Children are naturally eager to share their experiences…Are we eager to listen? If they try to express their anguish, is it possible for us to listen openly to a shocking experience without going into a state of shock ourselves? Can we listen without interrupting and without making snap judgments that slam shut the door of dialogue?” Russell M Nelson

(True)I try on this one but when the boys keep doing the same thing it drives me insane but I love listening to you it makes me feel close to you. -Ster

(This one mostly means if they’ve done something stupid and we don’t hold our tongues, listen, support and help. We don’t deal with that too much yet because ours are so young)-Tiff

5.         My spouse and I are united as one in word, deed and action.

(True. We’ve got that)-Tiff (agree 100%)-Ster

6.        Dads-I provide for my family and when I come home from work, I take an active role with them.

Moms-I love my children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion I have for God and my husband, prioritize them above all else.

(True. But Sometimes I feel I should be spending more “play” time with them…and less time on my hobbies. But you do play with the kids and put them above everything else)-Tiff

True I always try do spend some time with them but enough time never comes.-Ster

7.        When giving necessary correction to a child, I do it quietly, privately, and lovingly

I try but when the do the same thing over and over again I don’t yet have the paitience -Ster

“When you speak or talk to them, do it not in anger, do it not harshly, in a condemning spirit. Speak to them kindly…weep with them if necessary.” Joseph F Smith

(False. This is probably where we need to change the most.) -Tiffany

8.         I do not try to force or control my children, but instead I listen to them, help them, inspire them and lead them.

“To rule children by force is the technique of Satan, not of the Savior.” Russell M Nelson

(False. This is what confuses me the most. At ages 3 & 5 are we supposed to not try and rule them. It seems we should govern and rule them until they are age 8 then give them some more freedom and start accepting their decision a little more. -Tiff)

I think we are teaching them boundaries so we don’t have to work so hard when they are older. -Sterling

9.        Our family has daily family prayer, daily scripture study, weekly FHE, and we eat dinner together.

(The quote that goes along with this is long and some of what it says is that we need to preserve time for one on one that binds us as a family and “fixes children’s values on things of eternal worth.” Meaning, to teach them the gospel in our home.

False. I do daily prayer at night together. Scriptures we read the stories sometimes but they don’t remember them or the highlights…like who was the main character in the story. So I am going to start making FHE lessons to teach the Bible and scripture stories to the children in a simple, fun, memorable way. A lesson a week I will create then save it for the future to teach them again. I want our kids to know the stories. They don’t know about Noah and the Ark or anything really.)-Tiff

They are 3 and 5 the only way they will remember these stories is repetition we do need to better with a nightly family scripture we do well with family prayer though -Ster

10.    I work at my responsibility as a parent as if everything in life counted on it.

(True. I believe it’s true for us. That you and I both care deeply about how we are parenting and what our children need. We want to know how to perfectly raise them and we seek better ways to parent them. You are really good at caring and wanting to be the best father.-Tiff

I do try but I think I need to spend more one on one positive time with them. I think that is the only thing that can get rid of the childhood issues. -Ster

Recently I’d been debating about whether or not we needed to change our techniques…before I started going to this class at church. 

I thought about how we were raised and how we turned out fine. We had many siblings and less one on one time with our parents. We didn’t have them focusing on us, trying to figure out how to better parent us specifically for our individual needs…they didn’t have time for that. So we’ll just parent our children and we’re doing a good job…so they’ll turn out fine.

But then I thought about the childhood issues everyone seems to have...and how maybe our children don’t have to have issues with the way we parented. Maybe, if we focus on them individually and strive to improve our parenting we can be better parents than our own were. Maybe this generation of children needs us to be better.) -Tiff