10 Yr Reunion

Dear Journal,                                                                                                                                     October 12, 2013

Maybe two years ago I realized my 10 year high school reunion would be happening when we got back to America. I had hopes I wouldn’t miss it. I started dreaming of the reunion. Me with my perfect husband and adorable boys. I wanted to be thin and pretty and have my husband by my side…even if my boys were only there with us in photograph.

Well, we came back to America and then via facebook the most social girls in my high school class posted about the reunion coming up! I planned to make sure I was staying in NV when the reunion would be so I would be able to go. But then I realized Sterling would not be able to go. L

And I won’t be thin exactly…my tummy would be “5 months pregnant” big. But I made a goal to stay in shape so I’d be a hot pregnant mommy. It’s actually getter that way because Ster won’t be with me so I didn’t want to be too hot at my reunion.

I looked up some friends I hadn’t had contact with in a while, via facebook, and made sure they knew about the reunion. I wanted Kevin Johnson, Anthony Lomelin, Devon Blake and Michael Rodriguez to come. But Michael is not someone I can find …his name is too common and he might not even have a facebook page. I also made sure Liz Floyd and Keith Reed knew about it. And then people I knew live out of state so they wouldn’t come…Justin Henderson & Brittany Ginter. Hugo (Fernando) Hurtado doesn’t have a facebook page so he didn’t get invited.

Friday October 11^th, (Nephi’s 17^th birthday by the way) was the class reunion. 2003 Mojave High School 10 year reunion! 7pm at Mojave High for their Homecoming football game. I was so happy to go back to the school for the reunion! But…I didn’t know most the people there. I recognized some faces but did not know their names. I knew Erica Forstrom. We were friends for a bit in high school, enemies for a short time and just acquaintances most of the time back then. She was friends with Megan Rafferty whom I was friends with first then Erica and Megan became inseparable and Megan became more snotty because of Erica…that’s why I stopped being friends with both of them.

Anyway, I caught up with Erica at the game and she was so sweet. She invited me to sit with her when I was sitting alone for a while.

She’s a high school teacher now. Apparently she had a baby maybe a year or so after graduation. Then she got a degree and started teaching. She was a teacher at Mojave high for a while!

Devon showed up and I was the only person he knew at the game. We chatted a little. He said he’s doing fine but didn’t give me any details of his life. I think it was more awkward for him than for me. But being alone and knowing him more than anyone else there was weird.

I left a little early to beat the traffic after the game. I drove to Nicole’s house on the other side of town. I slept on the couch at her house. Watched an episode of The Mentalist…fell asleep during it.

Being at the game made me miss Sterling so much! He wasn’t there to sit with me or put his arm around me or keep me company. I felt lonely there and after that.

In the morning I got up and got ready for the temple. Nicole and the kids were still asleep and I needed to get started on my day. So around 8am I left a thank you note written on a paper towel for Nicole and I snuck out.

I drove to the temple…driving anywhere in Vegas takes forever! All the traffic and traffic lights and distance. Vegas is so huge!

On the way to the temple I stopped at McDonalds for breakfast. Ate it on the way to the temple. Went inside, feeling depressed that I had to do that without Sterling also.

Inside the temple I couldn’t help but remember that’s where we got married. The Las Vegas temple! Over 6 years ago and we have never been happier about any decision. We have 100% trust in our marriage. We support each other completely; maybe not when I want to do something like get a trampoline or when he suggests getting a new gun even though we’re in Italy and he can’t even use it.

We are so in love. We look out for each other and make sacrifices to make the other person happy or comfortable. We help each other’s dreams come true. We are one.

In the temple I reconnected with God. I have not been to the temple as many times as maybe other women who’ve been married 6 years. Ster and I moved to Italy 2 years into our marriage…where we only went to the temple once a year because of the distance (time and money).

So going to the temple is stressful to me. I’m stressed, usually being pressed for time to get in for a session. Stressed about doing everything right and learning what I’m being taught.

So I’m not always happy to go to the temple. I do it because we are commanded to and because I am suppose to. So today in the temple I prayed in the chapel as I waited for the session to start…or for us to be led up to do a session. I prayed and apologized for not having more of a desire to attend the temple. I thought about the reasons I don’t feel a need to go to the temple more often…Sterling and I do a good job of having the gospel in our lives. And of striving to be the best we can as members of the church, members in the community and as parents. We strive to have a close relationship with God and do what He would have us do.  And in so doing our home is a temple. With love and peace and the spirit. With God. 

I don’t have a job I go to where there are people and things that take the spirit away. I don’t need to seek refuge or a break by going to the temple. I already have that in my life and a closeness to God.

But I always feel better about myself when I’ve gone to the temple…when I’ve done what I am suppose to. Today I felt great in the temple. I didn’t think I “needed” it but it turned out I did. It changed my mood from feeling depressed because I have not seen Sterling in 2 months to being my normal happy self. Although…I was no longer wanting to go to the 10 year reunion pool party that day. I already bought my ticket online so I had to go.  I decided I’d be late though.

I left the temple and went to Walgreen’s. I changed my clothes and found out about vhs to dvd transfer services. They cost $30 to get one done. Ster, on the phone, convinced me that we should just buy an at home/do it yourself thing. I don’t know what it is but Ster said they are from $30 to $120 or something. Mom has like ten vhs homemovies she wants to transfer so I told Sterling to go ahead and order it and we’ll get them all done. I just have one vhs of home movies I want to put on DVD.

That Walgreen’s was the one I worked at when Ster and I met and were married. I ran into Jean; a nice older woman who worked there before me and with me and is there still.

Then I went to Ross and bought some cute maternity clothes. Then I drove over to Aliente to the hotel where the party was. It was a poolside party with pizza.

It turned out to be really fun. I had invited Zack so I wouldn’t be alone but he had to work the night before so he couldn’t go to the game. And when it came to the party it was $15 at the door to get in and I wasn’t even planning to stay very long. Zack was so busy today that I told him to not worry about it and that I wouldn’t even be there long.

I ended up staying longer than I had planned. I had fun chatting with the group, the very small group, that came to the party. Unfortunately they had spent way more money on the party than they were getting back because there were not enough guests coming! None of my friends came…disappointing.

We passed around a year book from our senior year. We had two poolside room things and they brought out fresh fruit…the hotel did.

There was a giant framed picture of our senior class altogether. It was awesome! But it had Devon with his arms around me in it. We dated off and on throughout high school. That day that we did that picture Devon and I got back together! Just in time to do senior pics. We didn’t kiss though. We were seniors and I had kissed other boys in the past but he and I didn’t. Our first kiss, I believe, was after his mission. In Logandale, NV at the reservoir we had our first real kiss. And there was no magic. No spark. I just didn’t feel it. He wasn’t the one for me and it kept showing in many different ways. I wasn’t truly happy. I was in a depression. I had some debt and I hadn’t met the right man for me yet and I was depressed. I wanted to get married so bad, hoping that would take away the unhappiness. But marrying Devon would not have fixed my problem because he wasn’t the one for me.

I was depressed when I met Sterling and we dated. But marrying him WAS the answer to fixing me. He was the one! I didn’t believe in “the one”…a single person picked out to be “right” for you. But God had a plan and it involved a specific picked out man to make my life Heaven on earth.

Anyway, I enjoyed the pool party and won the “guess how many gum balls in the jar” game. Somehow I’m good at those. At baby showers and things I often win that game. So I left with a jar full of green and orange (Mojave’s colors) gum balls.

Before leaving the hotel I stopped at the DQ in the food court. I was in the mood for candy in ice cream. Usually I like it smooth and without chunks…but I was in a weird mood. Actually, it happens more often than I ever thought it would…now. Maybe because I’m pregnant…maybe not.

So I tried their new Smores Blizzard and LOVED it! I ate it on the drive back to Logandale.

It was disappointing how few people came to the reunion events! Some people, I think, just were embarrassed that they didn’t do more with their lives in ten years. And some didn’t care to relive high school memories. And some just have contact with all the friends they want through facebook. They already know what everyone’s up to without leaving their couch!

We took pictures at the football game and the pool party. So I will have those pictures saved.

It was funny…the day I was going back to Mojave Sterling happened to come across a real rattle snake. Funny because rattle snake is the mascot of my school! He had taken pictures of it and sent them to me…without knowing it was my mascot.

In other news… Next week will be crazy busy for me. Monday I am teaching two 9 yr old Faith in God girls and their leaders how to handle and decorate with fondant. Luke is getting a ride to soccer practice that evening.

Tuesday is Luke’s soccer game in the evening. Wednesday I have to go to Vegas for a checkup on the base at the hospital. In the evening I am singing “Happily Ever After” by Jenny Philips at the young women’s mutual night.

Friday Justin, my nephew, is going through the temple for his endowments getting ready for his mission. So if I get a sitter I’ll go for that.

Sunday is the primary program where Luke has a part…”I am thankful for my mommy and daddy.” Then that afternoon we drive to Provo…stopping in Cedar City to visit Alissa and Justin and James and taking a break from the drive.

Life is busy..life is sweet.

~Tiffany

Aaaarrgh Soccer!

Since Luke is not in Kindergarten this year, due to me homeschooling him until we move to South Dakota, I was excited to put him into a soccer league. The Moapa Valley has soccer teams for Kindergarten age up. I paid $45 for Luke to be on the team. They supply a soccer shirt, a coach, friends and fun.  Luckily my mom had soccer shoes and shin pads that fit Luke.

Monday, this week, was his first soccer practice. We had to drive to Glendale...about 15 minutes drive  (some of that on the freeway). There is not much in Glendal but there's a church and a water park and a park close to each other. The practices and games are held at that park.

Monday from 5:30-6:30pm is practice every week. Then we have a game once a week, varying on the day and time.

We met the coach and saw all the kids on the team. I'd say there's about 13. Unfortunately there is an other Luke on the team. The whole first practice the coach had trouble with what to call my Luke. He kept forgetting our last name. And I went to talk to him saying "His name is Lachoneus...but that's probably not any easier to remember than Luke Roundy." He agreed. I also mentioned that he could call Luke "Roundy" like his dad is called at work.  He said he'll figure it out but I'm not so sure. lol.

There are two kids who look younger than Luke on that team. Luke was the slowest of his age but I don't know how hard he was trying to be fast. He may just have been running for fun and not for speed.

They started learning soccer basics to help them in the games.  Luke was so happy to be going something active with so many other boys that he kept losing focus. He would pull grass up and put it in someone's hair. Or standing in line he would start bumping or pushing for fun. That lead to everyone around him bumping and pushing and it would spread down the line if it wasn't stopped. I had to step in and tell Luke to stop a few times as did the coach.

I had no idea what it would be like being a soccer mom. But at his age now I'm getting the picture...I will go to the practice and pay attention so that if Luke is not behaving properly I can step in and correct him. I will practice what Luke needs work on during the week so he will get better and be able to do, hopefully, well in the games.

It is just "fun" to Luke but I'd like him to do well and improve. Some of those kids are returning from last year so they know the drill. Luke has never done anything like this before.

 It was very windy and sprinkled a little during that first practice. Very windy! Until practice was over then it calmed down.

The moms are in charge of supplying snacks each game. I am in charge of the very last game...October 19th.

I am really happy about Lachoneus having this opportunity. He is very happy about it too. Ty did very well to let Luke and the other boys play on the field with the ball. Tiberias has done well to accept the fact that he isn't old enough to be on the team...even though it was a huge disappointment at first.

Tuesday morning I took the boys to a park down the street and had Luke practice a few things...kicking the ball short and he run with it, kicking the ball hard so it goes far, running fast, hands on his hips as the coach asked him to do so he won't pick up the ball and hitting the ball off his body without his hands.
Today we were going to practice at the park in the evening because the ward was having a Corn Roast they do annually. But Autumn played a minute with him, soccer, and that was it. I ended up not doing more than that.

My dad made a Stoffer's lasagna for the ward event....there were like 5 lasagnas there tonight! I made a Hawaiian sweet and sour chicken dish. Put it on rice. yummy!

Luke didn't want to eat the food I gave him. He is typically that way at potlucks. He's a picky eater.
But when he tasted the corn...mmmmm....he liked it as much as anyone. He and Ty loved it! They shared a whole cob. One would take a bite then hand it to the other. Taking turns and being fast because they were so excited about the yummy taste. It was so cute to watch. They were sitting on a bench facing each other eat and sharing.

(The title of this blog....there's a book we , the boys and I, love called How I Became A Pirate. The kids in the book plays soccer and when he's on the ship with the pirates he tries to teach them soccer. It's a way cute book and it's on my mind because we just got one from the library that's the same series called Pirates Don't Babysit. We read it tonight before the boys went to bed and it was fun)

Strengthening Family Quiz

With Sterling in Mississippi I have a hard time being patient with my children as much as ever before. So in church I am attending a Strengthening marriage and family class. It's from the church's social services but the Logandale 5th ward has been given permission to teach it for some years now. I am excited about it and want to learn how to better discipline my children.

They gave me a quiz with quotes last Sunday. I typed it up, wrote my answers and asked Sterling for his comments as well. Here are the results.

1.        My home is a haven of love and peace and happiness where the Spirit of the Lord chooses to dwell.

(True. We do well at that but our children are young which is easier than keeping a happy home with teenagers.-Tiff

True- I love being with you and our kids most of the time. Somehow I think teenagers will be much easier because they will hopefully be more logical -Ster

And I always have the issue…does it apply the same to raising small children as to raising teenagers? They are so different… so do they need different parenting techniques or the same?)-Tiff

2.        I never speak in loud tones in my home.

“Let husband and wife never speak in loud tones to each other, unless the house is on fire.” David O Mckay

            Mostly true I love the fact that we are always nice to each other and I think raising our voices to our kids are a needed added emphasis but I think I yell at them too much. -Ster

(False . This one is confusing because the quote only mentions marriage. You and I don’t raise our voices at each other. But we do yell at our kids. And sometimes I think “they won’t know I’m serious or take me serious unless I yell.” But sometimes I feel like yelling does nothing except teach them to yell.-Tiff)

3.        I love my family and they know it.   

(True. We make sure our children know we love them by telling them and spending time with them. By encouraging them and telling we’re proud of them -Tiff)

True-sometimes I wonder if Luke really knows if I love him but I think some of that is personality -Ster

4.        I am a good listener. I don’t listen to correct, advise, fix or share my own experiences-I listen simply to understand.

“Children are naturally eager to share their experiences…Are we eager to listen? If they try to express their anguish, is it possible for us to listen openly to a shocking experience without going into a state of shock ourselves? Can we listen without interrupting and without making snap judgments that slam shut the door of dialogue?” Russell M Nelson

(True)I try on this one but when the boys keep doing the same thing it drives me insane but I love listening to you it makes me feel close to you. -Ster

(This one mostly means if they’ve done something stupid and we don’t hold our tongues, listen, support and help. We don’t deal with that too much yet because ours are so young)-Tiff

5.         My spouse and I are united as one in word, deed and action.

(True. We’ve got that)-Tiff (agree 100%)-Ster

6.        Dads-I provide for my family and when I come home from work, I take an active role with them.

Moms-I love my children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion I have for God and my husband, prioritize them above all else.

(True. But Sometimes I feel I should be spending more “play” time with them…and less time on my hobbies. But you do play with the kids and put them above everything else)-Tiff

True I always try do spend some time with them but enough time never comes.-Ster

7.        When giving necessary correction to a child, I do it quietly, privately, and lovingly

I try but when the do the same thing over and over again I don’t yet have the paitience -Ster

“When you speak or talk to them, do it not in anger, do it not harshly, in a condemning spirit. Speak to them kindly…weep with them if necessary.” Joseph F Smith

(False. This is probably where we need to change the most.) -Tiffany

8.         I do not try to force or control my children, but instead I listen to them, help them, inspire them and lead them.

“To rule children by force is the technique of Satan, not of the Savior.” Russell M Nelson

(False. This is what confuses me the most. At ages 3 & 5 are we supposed to not try and rule them. It seems we should govern and rule them until they are age 8 then give them some more freedom and start accepting their decision a little more. -Tiff)

I think we are teaching them boundaries so we don’t have to work so hard when they are older. -Sterling

9.        Our family has daily family prayer, daily scripture study, weekly FHE, and we eat dinner together.

(The quote that goes along with this is long and some of what it says is that we need to preserve time for one on one that binds us as a family and “fixes children’s values on things of eternal worth.” Meaning, to teach them the gospel in our home.

False. I do daily prayer at night together. Scriptures we read the stories sometimes but they don’t remember them or the highlights…like who was the main character in the story. So I am going to start making FHE lessons to teach the Bible and scripture stories to the children in a simple, fun, memorable way. A lesson a week I will create then save it for the future to teach them again. I want our kids to know the stories. They don’t know about Noah and the Ark or anything really.)-Tiff

They are 3 and 5 the only way they will remember these stories is repetition we do need to better with a nightly family scripture we do well with family prayer though -Ster

10.    I work at my responsibility as a parent as if everything in life counted on it.

(True. I believe it’s true for us. That you and I both care deeply about how we are parenting and what our children need. We want to know how to perfectly raise them and we seek better ways to parent them. You are really good at caring and wanting to be the best father.-Tiff

I do try but I think I need to spend more one on one positive time with them. I think that is the only thing that can get rid of the childhood issues. -Ster

Recently I’d been debating about whether or not we needed to change our techniques…before I started going to this class at church. 

I thought about how we were raised and how we turned out fine. We had many siblings and less one on one time with our parents. We didn’t have them focusing on us, trying to figure out how to better parent us specifically for our individual needs…they didn’t have time for that. So we’ll just parent our children and we’re doing a good job…so they’ll turn out fine.

But then I thought about the childhood issues everyone seems to have...and how maybe our children don’t have to have issues with the way we parented. Maybe, if we focus on them individually and strive to improve our parenting we can be better parents than our own were. Maybe this generation of children needs us to be better.) -Tiff

For Athena - Gender Ultrasound

I wrote this up on my cell phone in Provo a few months ago.

"In just over an hour is my ultrasound for baby #3. I am so excited to find out the gender! I have anxiously awaited this for two weeks...ever since we scheduled the appointment.
It is so close now that I can taste the moment; when we are in the room and we first see the baby...not yet determining the gender but about to do so. It will be so fun to have Sterling and Luke there to see the baby and learn the gender with me! Ty will probably be there too but he doesn't understand as much. And he doesn't seem to care if it's a boy or a girl; as long as it's a baby.

I have already seen the baby in a fun, active ultrasound.  But Sterling has not seen it and Luke has never been to a real ultrasound. Although Luke does like seeing the weird drawings of what the baby would look like at different stages during the pregnancy (online). He likes learning about the growing baby. And both boys are super excited to have a baby on the way."

When we went to the ultrasound Denise came with us. All five of us. It was really fun but really short. We saw the baby on the screen, not very high tech but still fun. And the woman said "It looks like a girl." I was not quite in shock...more like I did not want to get my hopes up. I said "Are you sure it looks like a girl?" I even made her point it out to me. Then Sterling reminded me that boys look like they have a turtle between their legs.
I was still unsure if it was a good idea to get all psyched up about a girl that early in the pregnancy...worried it would turn out to be a boy. But I wanted a girl so badly. I started showing excitement.

We got home and Hannah had made cookies. Pink and blue icing she put on them. I took one of each kind, a pink one and a blue one. I put them on a plate and whispered to Tiberias to take a bite out of a pink one...in front of everyone at the house. I believe it was Abi, Hannah, Mom, Dad, Trevor, Travis and Simone.
Tiberias picked up the pink one and bit it and everyone knew...we are having a girl!

Of course, at later ultrasounds I made the physicians check to see if it still looks like a girl. lol.
I went for an ultrasound recently at a doctor's office the base sent me to, with high quality machines for ultrasounds and they confirmed that it's undoubtedly a girl! lol

I am 24 weeks along.

We have not completely decided her name is Athena Rose Roundy. But we're learning more towards that than to anything else.
We also like Genevieve and Daphne.