I wrote this almost a week ago.
I'm sitting in the shade on my parents' front porch steps on a warm autumn day in Logandale. In my love sleeve cardigan I am feeling rather hot.
I have been sitting here, not moving much, for about 5 minutes.
The yard is desert landscape with a little grass and patches of planted flowers.
It has not been long that I've been here, not disturbing the nature around me. When without my realization butterflies come out from various flowers and hiding places in the yard. Flying around and up to where I sat.
Four butterflies beside me, playing freely as if I were not there. Maybe six more in the yard just a few feet away.
Beautiful and magical. Almost as soon as I take in the magic and joy....my three year old runs up to me. The butterflies quickly disperse into their hiding places.
I do not mind. A moment of fairylike magic once in a few years is enough to keep alive in me that innocent childike love of fairies and fantasy.
Besides, my life is full of magic if I just open my eyes and appreciate it. My two young boys and a baby girl on the way...the beauty, joy and magic is present every day of my life.
Sunday, September 29, 2013
A beautiful day
I wrote this a few days ago.
It is a beautiful day! ALmost October in Logandale, NV...the weather is cooling off. A sweater is needed at night for some people...like me.
Yesterday it did not get hot...only warm. Today it is pretty hot in the sun but perfect in the shade.
I am with my children at the park for lunch. It is so wonderful to be here in this perfect weather with my two little boys. I am 24 weeks pregnant...expecting a girl. I am so happy!
I do miss my husband! From far away we still love, appreciate and support each other. That is what makes being apart barable.
And we are good at keeping the romance alive.
Every day we text each other throughout the day; about the simple things we are doing, that we love and miss each other, what we look forward to when we see each other again and ways we love each other.
We skype now and then...his internet is never good enough to get a clear image of us though. We we talk on regular phones more often.
The little boys have made letter to Sterling and we sent some fun, love in an envelope, to him.
I am writting a medieval time story about Sterling and myself. Its a good way for me to think a lot about my love for Sterling and what he might do in whatever situation I imagine for my story. Then I send him each chapter when I've done one. I think I have just one chapter left.
I am a princess, he is a prince. We meet and become friends, fall in love....there are conflicts and obstacles but we are overcoming them.
He has just proposed and is about to go with my father, the king, and his armies to take back my home which has been sieged by marauders. I am not sure what will happen in this last chapter. I've played it by ear mostly.
It is a beautiful day! ALmost October in Logandale, NV...the weather is cooling off. A sweater is needed at night for some people...like me.
Yesterday it did not get hot...only warm. Today it is pretty hot in the sun but perfect in the shade.
I am with my children at the park for lunch. It is so wonderful to be here in this perfect weather with my two little boys. I am 24 weeks pregnant...expecting a girl. I am so happy!
I do miss my husband! From far away we still love, appreciate and support each other. That is what makes being apart barable.
And we are good at keeping the romance alive.
Every day we text each other throughout the day; about the simple things we are doing, that we love and miss each other, what we look forward to when we see each other again and ways we love each other.
We skype now and then...his internet is never good enough to get a clear image of us though. We we talk on regular phones more often.
The little boys have made letter to Sterling and we sent some fun, love in an envelope, to him.
I am writting a medieval time story about Sterling and myself. Its a good way for me to think a lot about my love for Sterling and what he might do in whatever situation I imagine for my story. Then I send him each chapter when I've done one. I think I have just one chapter left.
I am a princess, he is a prince. We meet and become friends, fall in love....there are conflicts and obstacles but we are overcoming them.
He has just proposed and is about to go with my father, the king, and his armies to take back my home which has been sieged by marauders. I am not sure what will happen in this last chapter. I've played it by ear mostly.
Love & Marriage Pyramids
This Strengthening Marriage and Family class is really awesome. Every week so far I've come home inspired and ready to try what I've learned.
Parenting Pyramid: Influence on children
Example and teachings
Relationship of trust
Love Acceptance & understanding Encourage, look for
& reinforce the positive
The first thing to do to have a strong relationship with your child is to establish love. Once you have that you need to establish acceptance and understanding. Then encourage, look for and reinforce the positive. Then you can move up to establish a relationship of trust. Next, be an example and teach them. And finally, influence your children.
Pyramid of Marriage: Being One
Open Communication
Relationship of trust
Love Acceptance & understanding Encourage, look for
& reinforce the positive
With marriage you need to establish the same ideals as with parenting as the base and the next line up. But then you need Open Communication. And lastly, Being one. Luckily Sterling and I have done those steps and we are one. What does that mean? We have the same goals, ideals, values, beliefs, parenting rules, hopes. Mostly it means we support each other completely...in life, in parenting, etc. We are partners!
Parenting Pyramid: Influence on children
Example and teachings
Relationship of trust
Love Acceptance & understanding Encourage, look for
& reinforce the positive
The first thing to do to have a strong relationship with your child is to establish love. Once you have that you need to establish acceptance and understanding. Then encourage, look for and reinforce the positive. Then you can move up to establish a relationship of trust. Next, be an example and teach them. And finally, influence your children.
Pyramid of Marriage: Being One
Open Communication
Relationship of trust
Love Acceptance & understanding Encourage, look for
& reinforce the positive
With marriage you need to establish the same ideals as with parenting as the base and the next line up. But then you need Open Communication. And lastly, Being one. Luckily Sterling and I have done those steps and we are one. What does that mean? We have the same goals, ideals, values, beliefs, parenting rules, hopes. Mostly it means we support each other completely...in life, in parenting, etc. We are partners!
Parenting-Love Languages
Today in Strengthening Marriage and Family class at church they taught us about the 5 love languages. Touch, Words, Gifts, Service, Time. I had heard about it before from my mother. But this time it was taught for parenting. Figure out which love language your child uses so you can better show them your love and know how to discipline them best.
Tiberias is definitely a touch person. He loves hugs, being held, playing rough. That's why he loves adult guys because they rough house with him more than grown women do. Sterling is a rough houser and that's why Tiberias has favored adult males over adult females since he was turning 1 year old! He absolutely loves his cousin Justin who is about to go on a mission. Justin plays with him and teases him because Sterling isn't here. He has been Ty's favorite. But today Ty's uncle Isaiah came to visit from St George. And Tiberias soon warmed up to Isaiah despite his beard and mustache. Isaiah became Ty's new favorite. He wanted to play with Isaiah and hug Isaiah instead of Justin.
So looking at it that way...spanking him for discipline hurts his feelings because his love language is touch. So we should not spank him but find other ways to disciplin him.
With Luke...he is not a touch person! He is not a words person either. The way he feels loved is by time and service. If you play with him and do things with him that he wants...that's what makes him feel loved or neglected. So in his life he will probably show love that way...by giving his time to you.
But that doesn't seem to help me in knowing which way to discipline him. Spanking him now doesn't bother him as much as it bothers Tiberias. Plus, I am trying to make spanking a 3rd resort. I feel bad when I spank the kids. I think it teaches them to hit. So I am trying to 1st ask them nicely to do something, 2nd threaten them with time out and if they don't listen they go to Time Out. Then if they persist on being bad I threaten a spanking and if needed give them one.
With Luke you have to discipline him by taking away things he loves like tv, candy, outdoor play time, etc.
Sterling and I were talking on the phone today about it. He then asked what our love languages are. So we thought about it. I am a big mix. I feel loved by service, touch, words and time. Gifts...not as much. But when it comes to showing my love for others, naturally, I do it with words, touch and service. Words are harder for me. I don't naturally show my love through words. I have to really try on that one but I've been working on it...since I got married.
Sterling's love languages are touch and words mostly. He shows love by, and feels loved by, touch. But if he doesn't get good meaningful conversations with me often he starts to feel neglected. We can spend all our free time together but if it's just at home, watching tv, cuddling, and being with the kids...he doesn't feel fully loved. When we go on hikes or leave the boys with a sitter so we can go on a date...we get good conversation in and he feels loved.
Tiberias is definitely a touch person. He loves hugs, being held, playing rough. That's why he loves adult guys because they rough house with him more than grown women do. Sterling is a rough houser and that's why Tiberias has favored adult males over adult females since he was turning 1 year old! He absolutely loves his cousin Justin who is about to go on a mission. Justin plays with him and teases him because Sterling isn't here. He has been Ty's favorite. But today Ty's uncle Isaiah came to visit from St George. And Tiberias soon warmed up to Isaiah despite his beard and mustache. Isaiah became Ty's new favorite. He wanted to play with Isaiah and hug Isaiah instead of Justin.
So looking at it that way...spanking him for discipline hurts his feelings because his love language is touch. So we should not spank him but find other ways to disciplin him.
With Luke...he is not a touch person! He is not a words person either. The way he feels loved is by time and service. If you play with him and do things with him that he wants...that's what makes him feel loved or neglected. So in his life he will probably show love that way...by giving his time to you.
But that doesn't seem to help me in knowing which way to discipline him. Spanking him now doesn't bother him as much as it bothers Tiberias. Plus, I am trying to make spanking a 3rd resort. I feel bad when I spank the kids. I think it teaches them to hit. So I am trying to 1st ask them nicely to do something, 2nd threaten them with time out and if they don't listen they go to Time Out. Then if they persist on being bad I threaten a spanking and if needed give them one.
With Luke you have to discipline him by taking away things he loves like tv, candy, outdoor play time, etc.
Sterling and I were talking on the phone today about it. He then asked what our love languages are. So we thought about it. I am a big mix. I feel loved by service, touch, words and time. Gifts...not as much. But when it comes to showing my love for others, naturally, I do it with words, touch and service. Words are harder for me. I don't naturally show my love through words. I have to really try on that one but I've been working on it...since I got married.
Sterling's love languages are touch and words mostly. He shows love by, and feels loved by, touch. But if he doesn't get good meaningful conversations with me often he starts to feel neglected. We can spend all our free time together but if it's just at home, watching tv, cuddling, and being with the kids...he doesn't feel fully loved. When we go on hikes or leave the boys with a sitter so we can go on a date...we get good conversation in and he feels loved.
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Strengthening Marriage & Family Quiz
A letter typed up from Tiffany to Sterling Sunday September 15, 2013
Sterling is in Mississippi training for his new Tower position in the Air Force while Tiffany and the kids stay with the Borens and the Roundys.
Hi Babe,
In class, Strengthening
Marriage and Family, today we were given a quiz. 10 true or false questions
with quotes from general authorities to help us know what the answer should be.
I tried to
find it online so I don’t have to type the whole thing up for you but I had no
luck.
1.
My
home is a haven of love and peace and happiness where the Spirit of the Lord
chooses to dwell.
(True.
We do well at that but our children are young which is easier than keeping a
happy home with teenagers.
And
I always have the issue…does it apply the same to raising small children as to
raising teenagers? They are so different… so do they need different parenting
techniques or the same?)
2.
I
never speak in loud tones in my home.
“Let
husband and wife never speak in loud tones to each other, unless the house is
on fire.” David O Mckay
(False
. This one is confusing because the quote only mentions marriage. You and I don’t
raise our voices at each other. But we do yell at our kids. And sometimes I
think “they won’t know I’m serious or take me serious unless I yell.” But
sometimes I feel like yelling does nothing except teach them to yell.)
3.
I
love my family and they know it. (True. We
make sure our children know we love them by telling them and spending time with
them. By encouraging them and telling we’re proud of them)
4.
I
am a good listener. I don’t listen to correct, advise, fix or share my own
experiences-I listen simply to understand.
“Children
are naturally eager to share their experiences…Are we eager to listen? If they
try to express their anguish, is it possible for us to listen openly to a
shocking experience without going into a state of shock ourselves? Can we
listen without interrupting and without making snap judgements that slam shut
the door of dialogue?” Russell M Nelson
(This
one mostly means if they’ve done something stupid and we don’t hold our
tongues, listen, support and help. We don’t deal with that too much yet because
ours are so young)
5.
My spouse and I are united as one in word,
deed and action.
(True.
We’ve got that)
6.
Dads-I
provide for my family and when I come home from work, I take an active role
with them.
Moms-I
love my children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion I have for God and my
husband, prioritize them above all else.
(True.
But Sometimes I feel I should be spending more “play” time with them…and less
time on my hobbies. But you do play with the kids and put them above everything
else)
7.
When
giving necessary correction to a child, I do it quietly, privately, and
lovingly.
“When
you speak or talk to them, do it not in anger, do it not harshly, in a condemning
spirit. Speak to them kindly…weep with them if necessary.” Joseph F Smith
(False.
This is probably where we need to change the most.)
8.
I do not try to force or control my children,
but instead I listen to them, help them, inspire them and lead them.
“To rule children by
force is the technique of Satan, not of the Savior.” Russell M Nelson
(False. This is what
confuses me the most. At ages 3 & 5 are we supposed to not try and rule
them. It seems we should govern and rule them until they are age 8 then give
them some more freedom and start accepting their decision a little more. )
9.
Our
family has daily family prayer, daily scripture study, weekly FHE, and we eat
dinner together.
(The quote that goes
along with this is long and some of what it says is that we need to preserve
time for one on one that binds us as a family and “fixes children’s values on
things of eternal worth.” Meaning, to teach them the gospel in our home.
False. I do daily prayer
at night together. Scriptures we read the stories sometimes but they don’t
remember them or the highlights…like who was the main character in the story.
So I am going to start making FHE lessons to teach the Bible and scripture
stories to the children in a simple, fun, memorable way. A lesson a week I will
create then save it for the future to teach them again. I want our kids to know
the stories. They don’t know about Noah and the Ark or anything really.)
10.
I
work at my responsibility as a parent as if everything in life counted on it.
(True. I believe it’s
true for us. That you and I both care deeply about how we are parenting and
what our children need. We want to know how to perfectly raise them and we seek
better ways to parent them. You are really good at caring and wanting to be the
best father.
Recently I’d been
debating about whether or not we needed to change our techniques…before I
started going to this class at church.
I thought about how we
were raised and how we turned out fine. We had many sibblings and less one on
one time with our parents. We didn’t have them focusing on us, trying to figure
out how to better parent us specifically for our individual needs…they didn’t
have time for that. So we’ll just parent our children and we’re doing a good
job…so they’ll turn out fine.
But then I thought about
the childhood issues everyone seems to have...and how maybe our children don’t
have to have issues with the way we parented. Maybe, if we focus on them
individually and strive to improve our parenting we can be better parents than
our own were. Maybe this generation of children needs us to be better.)
Babe, please let me know
what you think on all these matters. I want your input on what we should be
doing and what you think. I love you!
Goodnight. ~Tiffany
Thursday, August 29, 2013
19 Weeks Pregnant
For a few weeks I did not feel the baby move at all. It's interesting how much I felt her move when she was teeny tiny...11 and 12 weeks old. So you'd think I'd feel her now that she's so much bigger. But I don't feel her move that often.
So recently I went a few weeks without feeling her move. Then last night she started moving and kicking. I am 19 weeks along, this Saturday.
So Athena (which is what we'll most likely name her) started moving and kicking that night and the next morning too. It's been really fun. I've also started feeling contractions that same night and almost all day today. That's not as fun. But I was still able to do my normal routine. Working out was a little difficult with the contractions.
My normal routine now...wake up to Ty getting up too early (6am). Telling Ty to go back to sleep. 6:30a get up and feed the kids breakfast. Eat breakfast, workout, shower, get us ready for the day. Teach my children...Tiberias' lessons first then Luke's time.
Feed the kids lunch. Let them play in their swimming pool to help ware Ty out so he will nap. Try to nap Ty (he usually stays in bed up to 40 minutes but doesn't sleep. Sometimes he gets up every five minutes trying to come downstairs).
Get some down time/relax time if Ty stays in his room...I put on a show for Luke.
Clean around my mom's house. And the rest of the day is free to take care of the kids and try to get little things done.
I text Sterling throughout the day. We text when I wake up...he's already gone to military school. We text at his lunch time...9 or 10am for me. We text whenever he gets a break or finishes class. And we text throughout the rest of the day. We often call or skype once in the evening. Sterling goes to bed before the little boys because of the time difference. So I text goodnights with Ster before I have to get the boys ready for bed.
Yesterday was a special day. We had a playdate. Met two moms with kids at the park. One was Tara from mom's ward, we planned the meet the day before, and the other woman was Tara's sister. So all the kids played at the park but it was way too hot at 9:30 in the morning. Then Tara came over with her son Andon and all three boys played in the pool. Tara and I are friends now...that's nice.
We went to the Inside Scoop restaurant after swimming. Well, Tara went home to shower and relax. But I took the boys and Mom to the Inside Scoop to meet a bunch of women mom had set up for Back to School celebration. The boys got to sit at their own table with another boy and play while they ate. They kept getting pretty loud but they were mostly fine through the lunch. Then as we were cleaning up to leave Ty said he needed to use the bathroom. It was right by us so I sent him in to go potty. A few seconds later I tried to go in as well. It's one of those single bathrooms like in a house. Ty had locked the door. I knew he couldn't get it open again because he had tried earlier when I was with him. It only took him a few seconds to figure out he was trapped and without mommy. He freaked out! It took maybe 4 minutes to get restaurant workers to break him out. But when I got into the bathroom his shorts were somehow in the toilet. How he did that and why? I don't know! So we had to bag his shorts and I had to carry him in wet underwear. Then mom bought the boys chocolate ice cream cones on the way out. So Ty, in the heat, got covered in chocolate ice cream! It melted fast. He then fell asleep on the car ride back to my mom's house. So I carried him in, covered in chocolate, to the house to clean him up and put him in bed. Then I was covered in all sorts of stuff and Ty didn't end up sleeping. So I finally changed my clothes....along with washing the car seat and floor mats in the car.
Tomorrow we are going to Zion's National Park to camp for a few days. Kids have school and adults have work so we're hoping to leave at 4pm tomorrow. It takes two hours to get there...I hear. And we'll need to stop at Walmart for any groceries needed for the camp menu.
We'll get there and set up camp then it will be dark so we'll just chill and go to bed. Saturday we'll play and hike all day. There's a creek of water to play in. And I have planned things for my kids and for the adults for fun. Then Sunday we'll relax and have a peaceful day. Then Monday we'll probably come home once we decide we're board of being there.
I am hoping the little boys will love it...even though it's hot and it's in the desert. They are excited to go camping.
Sterling and I have been spending too much money since we got to America. Taking everyone out to eat "on us" and buying things that are so readily available here. We're tight on money now. Need to cut back.
Tuesday next week I am having an ultrasound. I thought my ultrasound was going to be at my 16-20 wk appointment I had this week. But somehow they didn't order the ultrasound. Since I am suppose to have that by 20 weeks they had to order the ultrasound and ask me to come back. The only problem is I have to drive 45 from Logandale to Las Vegas to attend these visits. It's frustrating that they were not more together for this. Mom and my boys came with me for the ultrasound but it didn't happen. So now I have to go back on Tuesday for the ultrasound. I am not taking the boys this time! But hopefully mom will come. She's never been to one of my ultrasounds.
So recently I went a few weeks without feeling her move. Then last night she started moving and kicking. I am 19 weeks along, this Saturday.
So Athena (which is what we'll most likely name her) started moving and kicking that night and the next morning too. It's been really fun. I've also started feeling contractions that same night and almost all day today. That's not as fun. But I was still able to do my normal routine. Working out was a little difficult with the contractions.
My normal routine now...wake up to Ty getting up too early (6am). Telling Ty to go back to sleep. 6:30a get up and feed the kids breakfast. Eat breakfast, workout, shower, get us ready for the day. Teach my children...Tiberias' lessons first then Luke's time.
Feed the kids lunch. Let them play in their swimming pool to help ware Ty out so he will nap. Try to nap Ty (he usually stays in bed up to 40 minutes but doesn't sleep. Sometimes he gets up every five minutes trying to come downstairs).
Get some down time/relax time if Ty stays in his room...I put on a show for Luke.
Clean around my mom's house. And the rest of the day is free to take care of the kids and try to get little things done.
I text Sterling throughout the day. We text when I wake up...he's already gone to military school. We text at his lunch time...9 or 10am for me. We text whenever he gets a break or finishes class. And we text throughout the rest of the day. We often call or skype once in the evening. Sterling goes to bed before the little boys because of the time difference. So I text goodnights with Ster before I have to get the boys ready for bed.
Yesterday was a special day. We had a playdate. Met two moms with kids at the park. One was Tara from mom's ward, we planned the meet the day before, and the other woman was Tara's sister. So all the kids played at the park but it was way too hot at 9:30 in the morning. Then Tara came over with her son Andon and all three boys played in the pool. Tara and I are friends now...that's nice.
We went to the Inside Scoop restaurant after swimming. Well, Tara went home to shower and relax. But I took the boys and Mom to the Inside Scoop to meet a bunch of women mom had set up for Back to School celebration. The boys got to sit at their own table with another boy and play while they ate. They kept getting pretty loud but they were mostly fine through the lunch. Then as we were cleaning up to leave Ty said he needed to use the bathroom. It was right by us so I sent him in to go potty. A few seconds later I tried to go in as well. It's one of those single bathrooms like in a house. Ty had locked the door. I knew he couldn't get it open again because he had tried earlier when I was with him. It only took him a few seconds to figure out he was trapped and without mommy. He freaked out! It took maybe 4 minutes to get restaurant workers to break him out. But when I got into the bathroom his shorts were somehow in the toilet. How he did that and why? I don't know! So we had to bag his shorts and I had to carry him in wet underwear. Then mom bought the boys chocolate ice cream cones on the way out. So Ty, in the heat, got covered in chocolate ice cream! It melted fast. He then fell asleep on the car ride back to my mom's house. So I carried him in, covered in chocolate, to the house to clean him up and put him in bed. Then I was covered in all sorts of stuff and Ty didn't end up sleeping. So I finally changed my clothes....along with washing the car seat and floor mats in the car.
Tomorrow we are going to Zion's National Park to camp for a few days. Kids have school and adults have work so we're hoping to leave at 4pm tomorrow. It takes two hours to get there...I hear. And we'll need to stop at Walmart for any groceries needed for the camp menu.
We'll get there and set up camp then it will be dark so we'll just chill and go to bed. Saturday we'll play and hike all day. There's a creek of water to play in. And I have planned things for my kids and for the adults for fun. Then Sunday we'll relax and have a peaceful day. Then Monday we'll probably come home once we decide we're board of being there.
I am hoping the little boys will love it...even though it's hot and it's in the desert. They are excited to go camping.
Sterling and I have been spending too much money since we got to America. Taking everyone out to eat "on us" and buying things that are so readily available here. We're tight on money now. Need to cut back.
Tuesday next week I am having an ultrasound. I thought my ultrasound was going to be at my 16-20 wk appointment I had this week. But somehow they didn't order the ultrasound. Since I am suppose to have that by 20 weeks they had to order the ultrasound and ask me to come back. The only problem is I have to drive 45 from Logandale to Las Vegas to attend these visits. It's frustrating that they were not more together for this. Mom and my boys came with me for the ultrasound but it didn't happen. So now I have to go back on Tuesday for the ultrasound. I am not taking the boys this time! But hopefully mom will come. She's never been to one of my ultrasounds.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Adjusting
On Wednesday Sterling and I left the boys with my parents and we went to Vegas for one night...before Sterling left for military cross-training.
It was so fun! We are so in love and we are best friends. We have so much fun together.
We walked part of The Strip Wednesday night when it was dark and the lights were all lit. Shopped at M&M's world...got stuff for all of us. So fun! Saw the Belaggio water show.
Thursday morning we had breakfast together at the hotel's buffet. Then I dropped Sterling off at the airport. It's not incredibly difficult to say goodbye.
So far he's not ever been gone more than two months. And this four month one will hopefully be split in half with a visit from or to Sterling. We'll hopefully get a weekend with him.
It will get harder to be apart...as time goes on.
But Sterling has it harder than we do. The boys and I are staying with family...lots of people to socialize with, live with and enjoy. Happy and familiar. Plus, I have a ton to do between taking care of the boys, homeschooling, helping my mom (with her sewing classes she teaches and with cleaning, cooking and organizing around the house), my hobbies and enjoying time away from the boys once in a while...because I have babysitters around all the time.
Sterling is in a new place with nobody he knows, no kids to take care of and no oven and stove to cook with. I don't know how much shooting he will get to do there, if any. I know he's on the beach so there's swimming and possibly fishing. No hunting. What else does he like to do? Woodwork. He likes reading and learning but he'll be doing a lot of that for school so I don't know if he'll want to do it during his leisure time as well.
He likes movies and tv as I do.
The little boys...so far they are doing really well about daddy being gone. They do say they miss him. They have talked to him once on the phone.
The first day without Sterling I felt two things 1) Overwhelmed by how much I had put off to do while Ster is away. I had a ton to do to prepare for school which was just a few days away.
2) Strange that Sterling was so far away and would not be with me for months.
When Sterling is gone for an extended period it can be like I am a single mother. I choose our schedules and base nothing around Sterling or his schedule. I discipline the children alone.
I do have the emotional support and the love of a man...that singles mother's don't often have.
Right before Sterling left Ty started wanting us to lay with him to go to sleep. I have done well to avoid this since Luke was a baby. I don't want to have to lay with my children to get them to sleep. I want them to self sooth and fall asleep on their own.
But...Sterling started laying with Ty. Now it's a problem. Right now Ty has been in his bedroom refusing to sleep for maybe 40 minutes. I refuse to lay with him. He has gotten up saying he needs to go to the bathroom, four times. He has gotten up to tell me he wants the music turned off. Gotten up to get spankings four times. And it crying and screaming "Mommy!" He has tried "I am not taking a nap" and "I am going downstairs." I keep putting him back to bed and leaving the room.
I don't know what to do. Luke was 1 1/2 yrs old when he did this...when he moved from his crib to a bed. He would need a nap so badly but would not stay in bed. It is horrible..no fun. Now I know Ty has done this before...when he moved to a real bed, I believe. But now, at three years old, he is doing it again. He needs a nap! But he is being difficult. And I don't know if I should lay with him for five to ten minutes, as I have done at bedtime at night the last few nights, or refuse to lay with him. It's going to be a fight every time if I don't lay with him. So far laying with him just a few minutes then saying "no, you just have to go to bed" has worked.
Today is Sunday. Sterling left of Thursday morning. We have been text messaging a lot...such a wonderful blessing. We have talked on the phone once a day also.
Sterling is a romantic. He tells me sweet things when we're apart. When we're together he tells me of the things he appreciates like a clean house and yummy meals and taking care of the kids. He tells me how much he loves me and what he loves about me. So it's no surprise that when he's away he says sweet things to me. I say more sweet things to him when he is away. He's not with me for me to show him my love so I put in more effort to vocally let him know my love.
Yesterday he sent his first sweet message. He texted that he will be staying in Mississippi a while but where I am will always be "home" for him. And of course I feel that same way. Although, being at my parents' house almost feels like home...the closest thing I can get to home without Sterling and without a house of my own.
On Wednseday Sterling flew like four or five hours to New Orleans. There he stayed one night and picked up our blue car we had shipped there. That process was more difficult than it should have been. The dealership refused to be helpful so he had to take the car somewhere else to be helped with whatever it was he was trying to do.
He thought it would be fun to be in New Orleans for a night. But it turned out to be expensive and not a place for him. Parking was $28 a night and dinner was $50 at the restaurant he went to. He learned it was a party city and really had nothing for him to do. It had some historical stuff but Sterling did not enjoy his stay.
From there Sterling drove an hour and a half to where he is staying in Mississippi. He got settled onto the base, into his base hotel, and did grocery shopping.
Sunday morning he went for a walk on the beach. He met a fisherman and talked with him a while. Then he got dressed for church and went and found the church.
I went to my parents' ward. I gave my name and phone number to a family who has a down syndrome toddler boy. The mother has a medical condition that leaves her in pain all the time. She has a nanny but for some reason needs a babysitter every Wednesday during the school year. I decided that's something I can do to help while I am here.
I also learned when Choir is. 4:15pm Sundays. I want to attend. I also want to perform a musical number in sacrament, for my family to hear. So I need to find out if the bishop allows spiritual LDS musical numbers to be performed that are not "hymns." I really hope so.
Lachoneus has been really destructive lately. Breaking everything. He even broke my parents walkway lights, three of them. So he has to work for my mom to earn money to pay off the lights. I don't know what to do with him.
His stutter is still doing well. In Italy his stutter was so horrible. It's the one thing I worry about when it comes to him starting Kindergarten in January. But in Utah and in Idaho when he visited Jon and his family, he barely stuttered at all. He started to do it more when he started getting comfortable and use to the Roundy's home. But then he came to Logandale and his stutter was gone again. He did stutter yesterday one time. I am glad his stutter is better! I hope it stays that way!!!
Ty and Luke both have better health since we came back to America. Ty's tummy aches he use to get atleast every other day rarely happen now. Luke's allergies have gotten so much better. It seems his problems with breathing and coughing were either from 1)the mold in our house in Italy or 2)Italy/plants etc.
It was so fun! We are so in love and we are best friends. We have so much fun together.
We walked part of The Strip Wednesday night when it was dark and the lights were all lit. Shopped at M&M's world...got stuff for all of us. So fun! Saw the Belaggio water show.
Thursday morning we had breakfast together at the hotel's buffet. Then I dropped Sterling off at the airport. It's not incredibly difficult to say goodbye.
So far he's not ever been gone more than two months. And this four month one will hopefully be split in half with a visit from or to Sterling. We'll hopefully get a weekend with him.
It will get harder to be apart...as time goes on.
But Sterling has it harder than we do. The boys and I are staying with family...lots of people to socialize with, live with and enjoy. Happy and familiar. Plus, I have a ton to do between taking care of the boys, homeschooling, helping my mom (with her sewing classes she teaches and with cleaning, cooking and organizing around the house), my hobbies and enjoying time away from the boys once in a while...because I have babysitters around all the time.
Sterling is in a new place with nobody he knows, no kids to take care of and no oven and stove to cook with. I don't know how much shooting he will get to do there, if any. I know he's on the beach so there's swimming and possibly fishing. No hunting. What else does he like to do? Woodwork. He likes reading and learning but he'll be doing a lot of that for school so I don't know if he'll want to do it during his leisure time as well.
He likes movies and tv as I do.
The little boys...so far they are doing really well about daddy being gone. They do say they miss him. They have talked to him once on the phone.
The first day without Sterling I felt two things 1) Overwhelmed by how much I had put off to do while Ster is away. I had a ton to do to prepare for school which was just a few days away.
2) Strange that Sterling was so far away and would not be with me for months.
When Sterling is gone for an extended period it can be like I am a single mother. I choose our schedules and base nothing around Sterling or his schedule. I discipline the children alone.
I do have the emotional support and the love of a man...that singles mother's don't often have.
Right before Sterling left Ty started wanting us to lay with him to go to sleep. I have done well to avoid this since Luke was a baby. I don't want to have to lay with my children to get them to sleep. I want them to self sooth and fall asleep on their own.
But...Sterling started laying with Ty. Now it's a problem. Right now Ty has been in his bedroom refusing to sleep for maybe 40 minutes. I refuse to lay with him. He has gotten up saying he needs to go to the bathroom, four times. He has gotten up to tell me he wants the music turned off. Gotten up to get spankings four times. And it crying and screaming "Mommy!" He has tried "I am not taking a nap" and "I am going downstairs." I keep putting him back to bed and leaving the room.
I don't know what to do. Luke was 1 1/2 yrs old when he did this...when he moved from his crib to a bed. He would need a nap so badly but would not stay in bed. It is horrible..no fun. Now I know Ty has done this before...when he moved to a real bed, I believe. But now, at three years old, he is doing it again. He needs a nap! But he is being difficult. And I don't know if I should lay with him for five to ten minutes, as I have done at bedtime at night the last few nights, or refuse to lay with him. It's going to be a fight every time if I don't lay with him. So far laying with him just a few minutes then saying "no, you just have to go to bed" has worked.
Today is Sunday. Sterling left of Thursday morning. We have been text messaging a lot...such a wonderful blessing. We have talked on the phone once a day also.
Sterling is a romantic. He tells me sweet things when we're apart. When we're together he tells me of the things he appreciates like a clean house and yummy meals and taking care of the kids. He tells me how much he loves me and what he loves about me. So it's no surprise that when he's away he says sweet things to me. I say more sweet things to him when he is away. He's not with me for me to show him my love so I put in more effort to vocally let him know my love.
Yesterday he sent his first sweet message. He texted that he will be staying in Mississippi a while but where I am will always be "home" for him. And of course I feel that same way. Although, being at my parents' house almost feels like home...the closest thing I can get to home without Sterling and without a house of my own.
On Wednseday Sterling flew like four or five hours to New Orleans. There he stayed one night and picked up our blue car we had shipped there. That process was more difficult than it should have been. The dealership refused to be helpful so he had to take the car somewhere else to be helped with whatever it was he was trying to do.
He thought it would be fun to be in New Orleans for a night. But it turned out to be expensive and not a place for him. Parking was $28 a night and dinner was $50 at the restaurant he went to. He learned it was a party city and really had nothing for him to do. It had some historical stuff but Sterling did not enjoy his stay.
From there Sterling drove an hour and a half to where he is staying in Mississippi. He got settled onto the base, into his base hotel, and did grocery shopping.
Sunday morning he went for a walk on the beach. He met a fisherman and talked with him a while. Then he got dressed for church and went and found the church.
I went to my parents' ward. I gave my name and phone number to a family who has a down syndrome toddler boy. The mother has a medical condition that leaves her in pain all the time. She has a nanny but for some reason needs a babysitter every Wednesday during the school year. I decided that's something I can do to help while I am here.
I also learned when Choir is. 4:15pm Sundays. I want to attend. I also want to perform a musical number in sacrament, for my family to hear. So I need to find out if the bishop allows spiritual LDS musical numbers to be performed that are not "hymns." I really hope so.
Lachoneus has been really destructive lately. Breaking everything. He even broke my parents walkway lights, three of them. So he has to work for my mom to earn money to pay off the lights. I don't know what to do with him.
His stutter is still doing well. In Italy his stutter was so horrible. It's the one thing I worry about when it comes to him starting Kindergarten in January. But in Utah and in Idaho when he visited Jon and his family, he barely stuttered at all. He started to do it more when he started getting comfortable and use to the Roundy's home. But then he came to Logandale and his stutter was gone again. He did stutter yesterday one time. I am glad his stutter is better! I hope it stays that way!!!
Ty and Luke both have better health since we came back to America. Ty's tummy aches he use to get atleast every other day rarely happen now. Luke's allergies have gotten so much better. It seems his problems with breathing and coughing were either from 1)the mold in our house in Italy or 2)Italy/plants etc.
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